Widows perform rituals at the dharmasala near Lingaraj temple. Picture by Ashwinee Pati

Bhubaneswar, Nov. 1: Her husband had left her with a one-year-old to feed when she was only 18. She struggled all her life to make ends meet.

Things fell into place when her son started earning. Amid the undulations of life, what Ramarani Nanda, 90, missed the most was a companion with whom she could share her joys and sorrows.

The monotony of her life broke when she began observing habisha during the month of Kartik 40 years ago. Since then, she has been coming to a dharmasala near Lingaraj temple every year to carry out the special rituals associated with the month making loads of friends. She goes back with memories that keep her going till the next year.

More than 100 widows gather at the dharmasala during this month. They come from various districts of the state and live as a close-knit family for a month performing the rituals and gathering memories and celebrating friendship in the process.

“I lost my husband long ago. My son has now grown up and keeps busy. So, I often feel lonely. I wait throughout the year for this time when I can meet my old friends and make new ones. The month-long affair comes as a breath of fresh air in my life,” said Ramarani, who hails from a small village called Kenduli in Khurda district.

Early in the day, all the old ladies gather around the tulasi mancha for the chaunra puja followed by rounds of prayers throughout the day. Every day, each one of them reads out the Kartik vrata and all the women are supposed to chant the same after her. But, rounds of giggling and sometimes laughter often interrupt the session.

“We might have grown old but are still young at heart. However, that doesn’t mean we are not serious about the rituals. We just love to do it our way,” said 70-year-old Smrutirekha Sarangi, who has been coming to the dharmasala for the past 10 years.

Their topics of discussion range from hot pants and bikinis of Gen-Y girls to India’s journey to Mars and from Bollywood films to Modi. And 76-year-old Sundari Panda’s jokes and mimicry of Odia actresses adds to the fun. “I have six granddaughters, and all of them are movie buffs. I watch a lot of movies with them,” said Panda.

A significant part of their month-long routine is the Krishna leela that these women perform every day. These plays are based on Radha-Krishna love stories. While two of the women dress up as Radha and Krishna, the rest play gopis.

Laxmi Das, 72, has been playing the role of Krishna for the past 10 years. “I used to act in various plays when I was in school and also at programmes at my village. I have a lot of interest in theatre, and I love this,” she said. “The month of Kartik is Lord Krishna’s favourite month and it glorifies his pastime. So, the plays also help us get closer to God.”

But, the journey has its share of sorrows as well. Eighty-year-old Subhadra Maharana said: “We meet each other once a year and hardly get to keep in touch in between. We come from rural areas and do not know how to use technology to keep in touch. Many a time, when we meet after a year, we get to know someone, who, we had become good friends with, has passed away.”

For those, who come from far-off places, travelling is a problem. “I live alone at my village, and there is no one to accompany me to the city. It’s hard for me to come all this way alone,” said 65-year-old Benu Mahapatra, who has come from Dhenkanal.

Amid all the hardships that are part of their lives, what draws them to this place every year is the urge to renew old friendships.

They will go their own way once Boita Bandana, the festival recalling the state’s great maritime tradition, concludes. But, they go back with enough memories to keep them going till the next year.