Attendant: Ma’m! You used to have such good hair, long, thick and silky.

Customer: Why, is it not good now?

Attendant: Well, it is, but to be honest not as good as it used to be. The texture…

Customer: What about the texture?

Attendant: When you run your fingers through it, can’t you feel the roughness?

Customer: Well…

Attendant: And the shine is all gone. One hair spa will cure it…

Customer: But…

Attendant: I really suggest you go in for it, or you might start losing hair soon. It’s become dry and brittle. And it will be a shame to lose such good hair.

Customer: Well ok, if you think it’ll help…

Attendant: Of course it will… (smiles) and while we are at it… maybe you should also consider a facial… just look at your nose… covered with blackheads….

Any regular at the salon will be familiar with the conversation — you are old, ugly and full of pigmentation. There are two ways out of it. One, you succumb to the treatment and come out trying to feel that you are a new you, but ignoring the hole in your pocket. Two, you say no and emerge morally triumphant, but spend the rest of the day, or maybe week, peering into every mirror and every shining surface, checking on your wrinkles, blackheads, sagging skin and blowsy hair. More than before. A voice in your head keeps prompting you need correction.

Either way, you are doomed.

Women’s relationship with salons is complex. They are like moody mistresses — sometimes the only mistresses women have. When ok, they can please her so. But boy, aren’t they demanding!

Makeover mania

Not that they don’t work on you. A snip here, a tuck there, and you feel beautiful, glowing and changed. But the all-transforming Midas touch is not over. For often the beautician, usually younger, slimmer and more attractive, wants to see us more perfect than we are ready for.

“I usually go to the salon for a very simple haircut. But once when I tried out a very fancy hairdo, I got so much attention from the people at the salon. There were three people attending to me. Made me feel really pampered,” says Madhurima Mukhopadhyay, a schoolteacher.

But pampering comes with a price tag. And here, it is more than just the service charge. “Once my hair was set, they started suggesting shampoos and conditioners that I should get to protect the style. They were such smooth-talkers, they made it sound like they would give it to me free. But it would cost a few grand. I got away saying that I think I have it at home. I never went back to the salon,” Madhurima adds.

Fear factor

Not going back might be a good idea. “I am scared to be too fi

rm with them for anything; what if they do something terrible to my eyebrows,” wonders Madhurima. Wise decision. Priya, a media person, remembers the time when her salon had mutilated her eyebrows, though she does not remember if it was done to punish her for refusing to fall in line. “In the middle, one patch was gone. It took me months and months to grow it back. I used to draw my eyebrow when I went out,” she remembers.

You can’t be thin enough or rich enough — or groomed enough. Jessica may be one of the city’s top models, but that does not mean her beautician doesn’t grumble. “Everyone tells me that I have good skin and hair, but ever so often at the salon I have to hear that it can be better. To us they put it differently. For example: ‘You have to put on such heavy make-up for work, your skin needs special care.’ The two things I get asked very frequently to go in for are facials and hair spas,” says Jessica. The attendant knows when we are unsure, and she’ll be quick to play on the insecurities. “I’m a little fussy about my hair, so if they tell me something about my hair I often get persuaded,” says Munmun Banerjee Ghosh, a 28-year-old.

“I am forever being told that I should get my upper-lip threaded. Once the attendant was rude enough to say that I have almost got a moustache,” says an angry Madhurima.

Now men know both the pamper and the pain too. “I mostly go to get a haircut and shave and yes, they are forever asking me to get a facial or foot massage. Sometimes they are so pushy that it reaches the point of discomfort. They talk about spots on the face and I am left peering into the mirror once I am back home,” laughs Naveen Pai, restaurateur.

Strategies

The trick is to take it in your stride. There are survival strategies well in use. The first one is to be aware that the attendant is just doing her job. Listen to your inner voice. “You are the first person to find out if something is really wrong with you,” says Munmun. Adds Jessica: “There is no point feeling bad or doubting the way you look because of what the salon people say. I would have doubts sometimes and get worried about my skin, but not any more. Listen to what they are saying. If you think they have a point, then try to find out more about the therapy and go in for it, if you are convinced.”

And not everyone feels she is at the receiving end. “I go once a month to the salon to get my eyebrows threaded and once in two months for a haircut. Sometimes I go for a facial. I feel very pampered and happy after the visit. It enhances my mood,” says Somini Sen Dua, a public relations consultant. The salon makes you feel important. Where else do you have three people attending to you?

Good manners

Salons insist that a good salon will never be rude. “Salon etiquette is very important. Much depends on how well-trained the person in charge of the salon is,” says beauty expert and t2 columnist Priscilla Corner. “I tell my team not to hard-sell, just to advise. I always tell the customer that I am your mirror. I see how everyone else will see you, though you might not be able to see it in yourself,” says beauty expert Bridgette Jones. She stresses that advice need not necessarily mean a therapy at the salon. “I always ask them what they are using. Sometimes they might be using the right thing, but the application might be wrong. So I correct that,” she explains.

Salons also feel that the client can be more insistent. “So often we have to tell a client that you really don’t need this treatment. There are times one has to be conscientious. But it’s difficult persuading them,” says Priscilla.

Besides, with rights, the salon-goer has some responsibilities. Fidelity may be a good idea, with mistresses, with salons. Going to a particular salon and not changing it as we change our shampoo may work better. “Today it is absolutely impossible to simply depend on home care and not visit a salon. Once a month I visit the salon for a facial, waxing and eyebrows. I get regular haircuts and once a year I get my hair streaked,” says Sumantika Choudhury, a content writer. “I have regular salons that I visit for these services. They know just how to advise without getting on my nerves. After a hard day at work, it feels really relaxing to get myself pampered at the salon. It helps me unwind,” she adds.

And where else would one feel so important and pampered?

Tip of the problem

However, one problem remains. That of tipping. Many confess that they feel awkward to tip the stylish hairdresser, for fear that the amount may be too little.

“When I go to a higher-end salon for these services, I do tip them, but it depends on how much I can afford. I never tip more than Rs 100,” says Seemantini Bose, an IT professional.

Not many are so intrepid. “It’s intimidating. For example, if you want to tip Rs 100, you wonder whether it is an insult for an employee at a salon,” says Paromita Ghosh, a public relations entrepreneur.