RICKY GERVAIS the ‘girl’

His acid tongue at last year’s awards got him a knuckle rap. The result? A surprisingly subdued Ricky Gervais — hosting his third consecutive Golden Globe Awards — flitted in and out of stage, most often holding a glass of wine in his hand. Though his opening monologue was not a patch on the one last year (in which he mercilessly targeted Mel Gibson and Johnny Depp), there were a few gems. Like: “The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton … a bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought — allegedly”. Or his dig at pop prince Justin Bieber’s proposed paternity test: “What a waste of a test that would have been.… The only way that he could have impregnated a girl was if he used one of Martha Stewart’s old turkey basters!” But the cheeky Gervais got a taste of his own medicine from Madonna who he poked fun at for being “just like a virgin” and then coughing rudely. The Material Girl hitmaker retorted with: “If I’m still just like a virgin, Ricky, then why not come over here and do something about it. I haven’t kissed a girl in a few years. On TV.” Good ol’ Madge!

what a man!

There were a few teary eyes in the audience when Morgan Freeman walked up on stage to receive the Cecil B DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement. Like the man and actor he is, Freeman’s speech was honest and emotional. “It’s been said if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life, and if that’s the case, for the past 45 years or so, I’ve never had to work, because my passion in life has always been acting.”

POWER COUPLE

They may not have taken home any of the golden statuettes, but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were easily The Couple at the Globes. While Pitt — sporting long hair and cane in hand — was Mr Dapper in a Tom Ford tux, Jolie was Ms Wow in her figure-hugging Atelier Versace gown. The only other twosome to give them competition? George Clooney and current squeeze Stacy Keibler.

INTRO OF THE NIGHT

Comedy star Seth Rogen carried on the evening’s risque tone. Getting on stage to present an award with hottie Kate Beckinsale, the Knocked Up star’s first words were: “Hello, I’m Seth Rogen, and I’m currently trying to conceal a massive erection.” Wife Lauren Miller was in the audience.

MOM MICHELLE

Winning the Best Actress award (Musical or Comedy) for her turn as Marilyn Monroe — who, incidentally, took home the same trophy 50 years ago — in My Week With Marilyn, Michelle Williams gave the night’s most touching speech, calling herself a “mother first and an actress second” and thanking her biggest inspiration — her six-year-old Matilda. “Thank you for suffering through six months of bedtime stories where all the princesses were read aloud in a Marilyn Monroe-sounding voice!”

BOW-WOW!

A four-footed sensation stole the thunder from right under the nose of the evening’s most celebrated stars. Uggie — the Jack Russell Terrier from The Artist, which romped home with the Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical) award — became an instant hit when it woofed and wagged onto the stage with the rest of the team to collect the trophy.

BRIT TALENT SHINES

British television scored with Kate Winslet winning Best Actress for Mildred Pierce, Idris Elba taking home the Best Actor trophy for Luther and Downton Abbey being adjudged the Best Miniseries. Winslet’s long speech was interrupted by the orchestra from the music pit which prompted Gervais to request winners to limit their thank yous to “your agent and God”!

eighth wonder!

Meryl Streep took home her eighth Golden Globe, this time for her portrayal of former British premier Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. The 62-year-old actress came up with a rather rambling speech, putting in a word for each of her co-nominees (Best Actress: Drama). The one laugh-out-loud moment was when Streep complained on stage that she had forgotten her spectacles, which brought forth a game of passing the glasses — from studio boss Harvey Weinstein to George Clooney to Social Network maker David Fincher. For many, the eye-catcher of the night.

CLOONEY’s got balls!

When you are as dishy as George Clooney, you can crack any kind of joke and get away with it. The actor-director — who bagged the Best Actor (Drama) trophy for The Descendants — picked on fellow nominee Michael Fassbender, thanking him for “taking over the frontal nudity responsibility that I had” and adding “Michael, honestly, you can play golf like this with your hands behind your back!” Clooney was kinder to pal Brad Pitt: “I am a fan!”

PAPA DON’t PREACH

Ricky Gervais wasn’t the only one who Madonna got even with. Fellow nominee Elton John — who had scoffed “Madonna hasn’t got a f***ing chance” — was forced to eat humble pie when the singer-actress-director won a Golden Globe for Best Original Song.

FILM FIRSTS

Best Motion Picture (Drama): The Descendants
Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy): The Artist
Best Actor (Drama): George Clooney for The Descendants
Best Actress (Drama): Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Best Director: Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Best Actor (Musical or Comedy): Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Best Actress (Musical or Comedy): Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer for The Help
Best Foreign Language Film: A Separation
Best Animated Film: The Adventures of Tintin
Best Screenplay: Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris
Best Original Score: Ludovic Bource for The Artist
Best Original Song: Masterpiece (music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry) from W.E.

TV TOPPERS

Best Series (Drama): Homeland
Best Series (Musical or Comedy): Modern Family
Best Actor (Drama): Kelsey Grammer for Boss
Best Actress (Drama): Claire Danes for Homeland
Best Actress (Musical or Comedy): Laura Dern for Enlightened
Best Actor (Musical or Comedy): Matt LeBlanc for Episodes
Best Miniseries or Movie: Downton Abbey
Best Actress (Miniseries or Movie): Kate Winslet for Mildred Pierce
Best Actor (Miniseries or Movie): Idris Elba for Luther
Best Supporting Actress (Series, Miniseries or Movie): Jessica Lange for American Horror Story
Best Supporting Actor (Series, Miniseries or Movie): Peter Dinklage for Game of Thrones