I discovered my funny bone by : Accident. I was constantly trying to get out of situations — avoiding school for instance.

In school : I took part in dramatics though my family is a family of professionals — lawyers, engineers, industrialists who have studied in America and UK. My dad is a lawyer. I was the first to become a mediaperson.

My first salary : Was 100 bucks for enacting a part in a play by Pearl Padamsee. The money went straight to my mom. Even today, when I enter my house — ding dong — my mom reaches for my pocket and — ting tong -— my salary is gone. Once Chhota Rajan has swiped me clean, it is the turn of Chhota Shakeel (my wife Ayesha).

My college : St Xavier’s. I did my BA in Political Science with Honours. I passed college in 1993. I also studied law but simultaneously I studied English plays and also did a stint as a radio jockey. I didn’t know where I was heading.

My fondest memory of college : 10 boys and 65 girls.

My favourite professor : Mrs Nadkarni, my sociology teacher. And Mohini Vaishali, the economics teacher, who called me “Cowboy” because of the way I walked. At one teacher’s lectures, the first two rows were always empty because he would spray as he spoke. He would ask us to come forward but we would tell him: “We are okay where we are, Sir.”

One request to God : The five-year punishment in St Xaviers should have continued for 10 years. It was one of the most innocent and enjoyable phases of my life.

The college canteen had the best : Mutton (spelt as Mution) curry with rice for Rs 2 and vada pav for Rs 3. All on credit, I don’t even know how much we owe him now. We ate the food with the drink, kala khatta. After 1993, colas came in, and they modernised the bhelpuri.

A tip to the college authorities : We were 16-17-year-olds discovering girls for the first time. Who is going to get up early in the morning and listen to lectures? 10.30 or 11am classes are fine. When Shenaz Treasurywala would come to college, we would gape at her. She was beautiful. I’m a poet, I love nature and natural beauties.

My jhols in college : We had a lift in our college, which was only for teachers but I had managed to win the liftman over. When he allowed me to ride in the lift, I felt like the PM of the nation.

Thanks to my batch of students : We revived the dramatics’ team and participated in the Malhar festival. In football, cricket and basketball we lost in the first round, in boxing we didn’t even qualify because we were underweight. We only succeeded in love--logy.

The ragging I underwent : When asked what I was good at by my seniors, I proudly claimed that I was a swimmer. Since there was no pool around, they asked me to do the breast-stroke swimming on the floor. When I obliged they kept shouting: “Faster, faster”.

Going back to college : Is fun. I went back once with MTV U, and since then college has been very kind to me. They keep calling me to be their chief guest. But the watchman’s attitude is unchanged. It is the same in 2009 as it was in 1988. He still asks me: “ID card kidhar hai?”

A message : Please fail and prolong your stay in college. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up because once you do, you will rue it.