So, yesterday I was training with weights when I happened to look at the mirror across the gym floor. Strangely, I couldn’t see myself in it and almost stopped mid-exercise, only to realise that the person in the black tee staring at me was actually me! A leaner, fitter, more shapely me, a me I had forgotten.

I know you must be grinding your teeth in annoyance. Believe me, I would too, at anyone who was so depraved as to a) go to the gym and b) flaunt the results.

You see, I have been going to the gym since I was 18. Correction, I have been planning to go to the gym since I was 18. In the past decade and a half, I have joined five gyms, two yoga classes and one jogging group. The result? Well.

So, what changed this time, you might ask. Here’s I think how the miracle happened.

1 Get off your behind This was the easy part. As you must have guessed by now, I am all about turning over a new leaf, tomorrow. I procrastinated since June and by August I had run out of excuses. The charges at the fancy new neighbourhood gym were a b**ch but even though half-yearly and annual rates were far cheaper, given my track record, I started with a three-month package.

2 Be honest Here’s the thing. I cheat. After seven minutes on the treadmill, after 12 crunches, after two (small) rounds of jogging, I feel so happy with myself that I start cutting myself slack. Shamelessly. So this time, I signed up for a personal trainer, of course for a fat fee. Thrice a week, this monster from hell takes over my life for an hour. He’s the best thing to have happened to me.

Tip: A good trainer will stretch you after the session. And those five minutes of bliss make up for the 55 minutes of torture he/she has put you through.

3 Give yourself some time The first month, I hatched every possible excuse to not go to the torture chamber — I worked late last night, I have an early shift, my friend from Chicago is visiting, I didn’t sleep well, the front door is jammed, I have low pressure, I have high fever…. Some true, some I wish were true. And for every session I missed, I had to explain myself to the trainer, who to my mortification was younger than me and entirely disinterested in my troubles with the locksmith or otherwise. It took me about two months to incorporate the gym in my daily schedule. Usually by two months I give up.

PS: Motivating myself to get to the gym is tougher than anything I have to do once I am actually there. Even after seven months.

4 Get your money’s worth As Shylock as it may sound, the bomb I paid at the beginning helped me drag my sorry behind to the gym at least twice a week.

5 Weigh yourself daily We who have never enjoyed a friendly relationship with the weighing scale tend to steer clear of it. I once went an entire year without getting up on one. But if you wish to lose weight, daily monitoring is a must. Every 100gm you lose is such a high, every 200gm you put back on keeps the pressure up.

Tip: Hold your breath when you get up on the scale and have someone else take the reading.

6 Know your basics In the beginning, I was losing inches but not a single kilo. That’s because aerobic exercises (like treadmill and jogging) cause weight loss and non-aerobic exercises like weight training lead to inch loss. Since I was only turning up for the training sessions, I was losing inches and looking slimmer but the weighing scale gave away my truancy on the treadmill.

7 Diet, diet, diet I have two reasons to slave away at the gym — to wear good clothes and to eat what I want. BIG mistake, the second one. I am told 60 per cent of weight loss is achieved through proper diet, 40 per cent through workout.

After a couple of months, the gym offered to upgrade me to a diet package for six months if I paid another Rs 1,000. I knew they were going for the kill but I was spending so much anyway, I wanted to see this thing through. Again, money well spent. Apart from the diet chart, which I copied in triplicate and then essentially ignored, what helped me was writing a daily diet diary where I had to record everything I ate or drank and at what time. And since I tend to cheat, I promised myself that I wouldn’t lie to the dietician. Soon I started following at least half the things written in the diet chart, including, urgh, green tea and digestive biscuits.

PS: I’ve learnt that the body can keep your secret if it’s a little one — a tiny slice of cake, three spoons of biryani, one scoop of ice-cream, two pieces of chocolate — but it won’t stay quiet if you stuff it with “secrets”.

8 Happy hormones I have heard and read about this mythical chemical that’s to be found in sex, chocolates and exercise but it’s only now that I can actually feel the endorphins coursing through my system after an hour’s strenuous workout. The high that a lazy person like me gets after putting myself through an hour of sweating, panting and screaming muscles is comparable to a double tequila shot. I am addicted to that high and that’s the reason why I think this time my workout is for keeps.

PS: The trainer, the diet diary, the consultations with the dietician are, I know, crutches that demotivated, unfit, slow people like me need just to get their act together. I don’t think I am ready to shed them just yet but I know I’ll get there.

Tell us your gym confessions at t2@abp.in