The girl claiming to be Govinda’s daughter in her debut film Second Hand Husband is an imposter. Has to be. I’ll prove it to you shortly, but before that let me tell you that it was the longest two hours I’ve spent in a movie hall. There was just another elderly couple who were probably there for the same reason I was — Chi Chi nostalgia.
For a debut film, Tina Ahuja had the smallest screen time — except perhaps the chor-turned-chaiwallah Bhagwan, and Kamaal, one of Tina’s three clients (she is a lawyer) — not that it was a loss, because boss, she Just Doesn’t Have It. Even the funny lines — she tells Kamaal the only way she can build a strong case for him is if he is killed — are delivered so flat, without a hint of emotion or voice modulation, that you are left wondering what the joke was. How can it be that not one per cent of the talent the father had in tickling the funny bone was passed on to the daughter? (Proof no. #1)

The majority of the film was dominated by the, errm, escapades of yet another old-time favourite Dharmendra, but I wish I could attack my brains with a scrub to remove the experience. There can be no excuse for the role he played — an alcoholic philanderer who is a pathological liar called Ajit Singh, who owns the hotel where the hero Rajbir (Gippy Grewal, the less said about him the better) is a duty manager.

The only point of relief, and the only time I laughed, was when Sanjai Mishra was on screen. He never fails to deliver.
Let’s come back to Tina. The only reason I realised she was the heroine of the film was because she got all the songs in the film. Two of them were dance numbers where she... didn’t dance! She even had those trademark Govinda hand moves and she couldn’t pull them off. Every time the camera panned on her it went slow-mo with lots of flying hair and soulful stares. It left me thinking Tina can’t dance saala! (Proof no #2)

Maybe she should have watched all those No. 1 films her dad did, you know, Coolie No. 1 and Hero No. 1, before she took on a comic role in this Second Hand film. Maybe after this film she will (she better!).

PS: If Tina isn’t bad enough, Bhajji is there in the film as Bhajji. No, you do not want to know!

Chandreyee Chatterjee
What do you think of Tina Ahuja’s debut? Tell t2@abp.in