Neel Aakasher Chandni
Starring: Koel Mullick, Jeet, Jisshu Sengupta

Sujit Guha’s Neel Aakasher Chandni, two hours and 45 minutes long, is like a spot-the-difference — er, similarity — game. The options: Chandni, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai. Here’s what to watch out for...

• All’s well with lovebirds Chandni (Koel) and Aakash (Jeet) till Neel (Jisshu) returns from America (he’s always seen standing under the Statue of Liberty) and is taken in by Chandni’s charms. The next 15 minutes are on chaddi buddies Jeet and Jisshu boasting about their girlfriends (like Rishi Kapoor and Vinod Khanna in Chandni).

• Chandni’s family fixes her marriage with Neel. So, a heartbroken Aakash sings Boro asha kore eshechhigo at her birthday bash and leaves. Neel finds out he’s actually the kebab-mein-haddi and decides to step aside, but not before howling in a room plastered with Chandni’s blown-up photos (like Rishi Kapoor in Chandni).

• Just before tying the knot, Aakash and Chandni are having a little chat on the phone when his bike crashes into a truck, leaving Aakash dead (the same Rishi Kapoor-Sridevi sequence from Chandni).

• Talked into marrying Neel, Chandni vows to stay a virgin. So she does what Aishwarya Rai did when Ajay Devgan got into bed with her in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.

• As Chandni spends most of her time weeping in sasurbari, her mother arrives to knock some sense into her, which prompted a viewer at the Friday matinee show in Bijoli to exclaim: “Arre etao toh Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam-er scene!”

• On their honeymoon trip in Siliguri, Chandni spots Aakash’s lookalike on a bike and faints. (Need we say it’s Ameesha Patel and Hrithik Roshan from Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai?)

• Chandni’s hubby-with-a-heart-of-gold swears to find Aakash. The lookalike is actually Anthony Gomes, a pub singer. Chandni spots Anthony again, starts chasing him and breaks her arm. So, Neel takes care of her and helps her smear sindoor on her forehead (yes, yes we know you know it’s from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, again).

• Anthony confesses he is Aakash and Neel sets out with Chandni, dressed as a bride, to unite the lovebirds. On the way, though, Chandni has a change of mind and chooses hubby over ex-flame. (We give up!)

P.S.: The only original thing about Neel Aakasher Chandni is the title — which translates to ‘Neel and Aakash’s Chandni’. How ingenious!