Okay, so there are four kisses instead of 30. And, the opening shot is Sonal Chauhan in a bikini. That’s just about all the non-tech action you get in 3G.

Neil Nitin Mukesh as Sam and Sonal Chauhan as Sheena are vacationing in breathtakingly beautiful Fiji (the scenic landscape is a win). When he arrives in Fiji to meet her, she accidentally drops his phone into the sea. Around 15 minutes into the film, they kiss for 10-seconds and then visit a store in Fiji where he buys a second-hand phone. Of course, it’s a 3G-enabled phone, silly!

But what’s the killer connection? The phone keeps getting an ‘Unknown Number’ phone call from a woman (Mrinalini Sharma) and a video of her being killed.

But more on that later, where are the 30 promised kisses? A little into Sheershak-Shantanu’s 3G and it’s time for Kiss No. 2 in the swimming pool. But damn, it’s only a second long. But hang on (no reference to the men-who-hang-themselves scenes coming up), soon the melodious Kaise bataaoon starts playing (KK’s soothing vocals) and Sonal is in a red bikini, so kiss they must.

By now, things are getting spooky because it’s a psychological horror film and Sam is seeing this ghostly woman in the bathroom mirror and elsewhere — we won’t tell you where because those parts are really scary.

This spooky business calls for some khalbali in Khalbali hai with the hint of a kiss (so, it doesn’t count) before trying to get rid of the phone. Sam throws it into the sea but it reappears. He shatters it into bits with his fist but housekeeping returns it in one piece. Finally, the ghost takes over Sam and one moment he’s normal, the other he’s trying to drown Sheena. But not before Kiss No. 4 between Sonal (great body but most of the time she’s saying, ‘Sam, kya hua?’ in 10 different ways) in a black bikini in a bathtub and Neil, who flashes a lot of tongue there. The visual effects are good and bad in parts. The car accident scene is brilliant but that ugh-more-than-scary head on a plate is fail.

The second half of the film is spent trying to solve the mystery of the phone (that ting-ting-ting ring would drive anyone crazy!) and it’s 3G technology which was being used to ‘connect’ with spirits. Finally, after a lot of investigation, it turns out that a woman was murdered by her boyfriend because she was a porn star.

Now why would any man have a problem with that?