Cold Water (2016) by Major Lazer (feat. Justin Bieber and MO)
And if you feel you’re sinking, I will jump right over/ Into cold, cold water for you
t2 take: James Blunt sang to one Simone that he would call her up “everyday Saturday night” (1973), Lil Wayne sang he would rip his “heart out and hand you the shit” (With You) and Bruno Mars is willing to “catch a grenade for you” (Grenade). But Mr Bieber is only willing to jump into cold water!
On the chart: #2 on Billboard Hot 100
Blurred Lines (2013) by Robin Thicke
I feel so lucky/ You want to hug me/ What rhymes with hug me?
t2 take: Mug me, tug me… what Robin, what rhymes with such high-brow stuff?!
On the chart: #1 Billboard Hot 100
Human (2008) by The Killers
Are we human or are we dancer?
t2 take: Group frontman Brandon Flowers deserves an answer. So what are we?
On the chart: #1 Billboard Dance Club Songs
My Humps (2005) by Black Eyed Peas
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps
t2 take: Such tumorous lyrics made us think — for a second! — lumps were better than humps.
On the chart: #3 Billboard Hot 100
Friday (2011) by Rebecca Black
Yesterday was Thursday/ Today it is Friday/ We so excited/ We gonna have a ball today/ Tomorrow is Saturday/ And Sunday comes afterwards
t2 take: Rebecca, here’s an idea for another song: What comes after Sunday?
On the chart: #34 Billboard Hot 100
So Yesterday (2003) by Hilary Duff
If you’re moving on, I’m already gone/ If the light is off then it isn’t on
t2 take: Eureka, what a bright idea!
On the chart: #15 Billboard Pop Songs
Whenever, Wherever (2001) by Shakira
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble/ So you don’t confuse them with mountains
t2: Let’s hope this is just a simple case of lost in translation as the original version was in Spanish and called Suerte.
On the chart: #6 Billboard Hot 100
Give Me Everything (2011) by Pitbull (featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer)
Me not working hard?/Yea, right!/ Picture that with a Kodak/ And, better yet, go to Times Square/Take a picture of me with a Kodak.
t2: The go-to man for Jennifer Lopez lost us when he tried to rhyme Kodak with Kodak.
On the chart: #1 on Billboard Hot 100.
What’s My Name? (2010) by Rihanna (featuring Drake)
The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? / Cause I’ve been tryna work it out
t2 take: Is Rihanna trying to say her name is 8.30662386292 or trying to find out if sex position soixante-neuf is worth her time?!
On the chart: #1Billboard Hot 100.
I Am A God (2013) by Kanye West
I am a god/ So hurry up with my damn massage/ In a French-ass restaurant/ Hurry up with my damn croissants
t2 take: Sacre bleu!
On the chart: #9 Billboard Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles.
Dance (A$$) (2011) by Big Sean (featuring Nicki Minaj)
Ass ass ass ass ass/ Ass ass ass ass ass/ Ass ass ass ass ass…./ Only time you on the net is when you Google my ass
t2 take: The ebuttlution of Nicki Minaj.
On the chart: #10 Billboard Hot 100
Over Again (2012) by One Direction
I can make your tears fall down like the showers that are British
t2 take: What are British showers? How is it different from the ones predicted by G.C. Debnath and team at the India Meteorological Department, Calcutta?
YouTube views: 3,064,359million
Today Was A Fairytale (2010) by Taylor Swift
I can feel my heart/ It’s beating in my chest/ Did you feel it?
t2 take: Maybe Swift’s heart ain’t in her “chest”!
On the chart: #2 on Billboard Hot 100
Marry You (2010) by Bruno Mars
It’s a beautiful night/ We’re looking for something dumb to do/ Hey baby/ I think I wanna marry you
t2 take: Just the song Ross Gellers (of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.) all over the world play on a loop.
On the chart: #11UK Singles
Somewhere Else (2005) by Razorlight
She asked me my name/ I told her what it was/ She looked at me, I tried to explain/ Exactly what I’ve lost
t2 take: Wonder why the song made it to BBC 6 Music’s ‘Taxing Lyrical’ poll a few years ago.
On the chart: #2 UK Singles
