Fifty-five-year-old Rita Devi does not perform Chhath anymore. Scarred by the Adalat Ghat stampede of 2012, she has stopped observing the state’s biggest festival.

A resident of east Lohanipur, she lost her granddaughter in the stampede that left 18 dead. “The tragedy shook my confidence. I decided to stop performing Chhath even though I had been doing it for over 10 years,” a teary-eyed Rita told The Telegraph.

Unlike many households in Patna where Chhath adds to the festive fervour, Rita sinks into gloom the moment the festival arrives. It has been two years now but the tragedy is etched in her mind. “It is impossible to forget it,” she said, recalling how her daughter Maya had come from Ara with her husband. Their daughter had come along too.

“We were all very happy and Maya’s daughter Kittu Kumari, aged four-and-a-half years, was the apple of our eye. This festival took Kittu away from us,” said the sobbing grandmother.

Kittu’s death compelled Maya, too, to stop performing Chhath. Rita’s husband Kishore Kumar (60), a salesman at a cloth shop in Khetan Market, too, has lost interest. “For me, festivals mean nothing even though I deal with customers daily and they come in a bunch during festivals. Something inside me has died. I don’t feel anything when I see people having a good time on the roads during festivals,” he said.

A few minutes in Rita’s household is enough for one to feel the air of despondency that hangs there. “What festival? During Chhath, we remain indoors as we are overcome by guilt,” Rita said. Had her granddaughter not arrived from Ara for in 2012, the little girl would have been alive today, she feels.

Rita would not take any more questions. “Please leave us alone. Don’t torture me this way… God has tortured us enough,” she cried, before rushing into another room.