@SteveMartinToGo (Steve Martin)

His Twitter page is an ongoing one-man stand-up comedy show on your comp screen. The ‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrel’ is witty, mischievous and a laugh riot. Watch out for those “trusting wife” one-liners. Sample a ‘gem’…

“Not all tweets can be gems. Please explain to trusting wife who will receive a tweet for her anniversary.”

@R_Khanna (Rahul Khanna)

Calls himself a “Boutique Bollywood Actor”, loves laughing at himself and loves making others laugh even more. Short, pithy, droll and hilarious, Rahul Khanna’s feed is a mood-lifter.

“I believe my religion is a private matter. Which is why, as I climb out of the pool, I see white trunks were, perhaps, not the wisest buy.”

@BeingSalmanKhan (Salman Khan)

It’s as if he has come straight out of the big screen and dived into the Net. Even with just 140 words, Salman Khan is Salman Khan. And when he is not funny, he pushes his charity work. #Respect!

“May matter, may not matter but look into the matter. Arre matter se yaad aya — matter is anything that has a mass.”

@juniorbachchan (Abhishek Bachchan)

Mr Cool, Aby Baby is a mix of yo-dude rapster, soccer maniac, adarsh beta and hubby… but most importantly a whole lotta fun when he is in da house! And boy, he knows his music.

“Been slamming some young MC this morning. Real old school. So if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go and ‘bust a move’!!”

@stephenfry (Stephen Fry)

A mixed bag of great article links, funny comments and insightful statements, this actor-director-funnyman is as British as one can get, especially in his sense of humour.

“Shall I bid for the glorious Princess Beatrice Philip Treacy hat? It is for UNICEF after all. And such a fine lid.”

@actor_siddharth (Siddharth Narayan)

Rang De Basanti’s Karan is cute and fun. Social commentary, sports mania, film-world sneak peek, Siddharth’s Twitter page makes for an interesting read.

“Saw Darren Aronofsky’s cult film Pi. Moving, terrifying, path breaking. No other film of his comes close. What a brilliant experience!! On a lighter note, Pi proves my oldest theory — ‘mathematics kills’! Ha!”

@ConanOBrien (Conan ’Brien)

He is outrageous, often self-deprecating and always caustic… in other words, he is Conan ’Brien. Those who have watched him on The Tonight Show, need no introduction, but for others here is a sample…

“Charlie Sheen is doing a 21-city comedy tour. Being a mentally unstable out of work TV star on tour was my idea.”

@suhelseth (Suhel Seth)

Wry, scathing and sarcy… Suhel Seth does what Suhel Seth does best: ensure everyone has a whale of a time reading whatever he keys in.

“RK Films announces the Hindi remake of Jailhouse Rock — A. Raja and Kanimozhi play the lead roles and Kalmadi the dolt is the rock!”

@ActuallyNPH (Neil Patrick Harris)

There is no one quite like our good ol’ Doogie Howser MD. With or without the “Barney Stinson” tag, he is hilarious. You will not know what hit you when Hurricane Harris decides to act up.

“I’m sick of these negative responses! Rude, hurtful, constant — it’s too much. I’m leaving Twitter. Love to say I’m joking, but I’m not... April fools... my followers rock.”

Special mention

@kamaalrkhan (Kamaal R Khan)

If tweets can entertain, do not look beyond this inimitable Deshdrohi dolt. His tweets are a sneak peak into a new breed of politically incorrect statements and linguistically incorrect English. He flirts with the Bolly actresses, takes digs at politicians and blocks anybody who doesn’t go with his view!

“I don’t have girlfriend for 3 years now. Every girl thinks that I am from underworld or they belive (sic!) that I have many girlfriends. Why?”

Most Controversial

@MMFlint (Michael Moore)

Michael Farenheit 9/11 Moore has single-handedly created a furore in the US with his anti-Bush sentiments and his daring documentaries. So, imagine the storm he can create when provided with a free medium of expression! @MMFlint is controversial, witty, funny and pointed with his no-holds-barred social commentary. Michael Moore gets our vote for the Most Controversial Twitterati.

It’s not that OBL (Osama Bin Laden) “deserved” a trial. WE deserved it. WE need to return to what we say we are: a nation of laws made by free people. I’m just saying, I want my America back. I dunno, maybe it never was. We are a nation founded on genocide and built on the backs of slaves.

Most Annoying

@MallikaLA (Mallika Sherawat)

A couple of international appearances and madame Mallika starts calling her handle @MallikaLA… Need we say anything more about why she is annoying? Big-time poser, she can’t stop talking about her oh-so-cool encounters… especially with Barack Obama... and if she cracks one more Hissss joke, she deserves to be “murdered”.

I “hear” another fun event during @Cannes is being planned for thiSss ;) Who’s my date this time? LOLsss.

Calcutta’s T-Champ

@quizderek (Derek ’Brien)

From conducting quizzes (which give prizes!), sharing little-known facts, and tweeting funny one-liners to championing change... Derek has been a constant fixture on Calcutta’s Twitter map, a place where celebs hardly tweet and interact with their fans. A self-confessed addict now, Derek was tweeting even when the history of Bengal was rewritten... all in a bid to give followers a first-hand account of paribartan.

A spartan home in Calcutta. Here lives a lady who has spent a lifetime leading a struggle to oust the Communists. An honour to tweet from here.

You know what they do but their online bios will tell you otherwise. check out the funniest twitter CVs

arshad warsi @imarshadwarsi

Good at cooking, cleaning ’’ impressing kids below 5, when free I try ’’ act in films

 

charlie sheen @charliesheen

Born Small... Now Huge... Winning... Bring it..! (unemployed winner...)

 

kunal kapoor @kapoorkkunal

Tall

 

russell crowe @russellcrowe

Older than my children, younger than my parents, get the odd job

 

sonu niigaam @sonuniigaam

I am Nothing. Nothing Matters. Nothing is everything

 

john cusack @johncusack

Apocalyptic shit disturber and elephant trainer

 

 

rahul bose@RahulBose1

4 nose breaks. 76 stitches. 6 fractured fingers. 2 arthroscopied knees. plastic surgeon, anyone?

 

uday chopra @udaychopra

Mad Scientist trying to discover the source of all evil... so I may beat the Devil, take over Hell and leave my day job!!!

 

 

mandira bedi@mandybedi

shanti, ashanti, actor, anchor..!

 

neil gaiman @neilhimself

Will eventually grow up and get a real job. Until then, will keep making things up and writing them down

most mushy

Liz Hurley and Shane Warne

Move over Mr and Mrs Kutcher, a new Twitter couple is here. Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne have been the talking point of IPL 4, but when not cosying up in Rajasthan, the two were carrying on their cross-continent love affair over the social networking site, much to the delight of their fans. So don’t forget to follow Hurley and Warne and see their romance unfold with a healthy dose of Aussie and Brit humour thrown in. Sample:

@Elizabeth Hurley: @warne888 You’re being blonde... as in stop eating sweeties and start doing sit ups... xx

most feathery

And while you are busy following Hurley and Warne’s torrid affair… don’t forget to keep a tab on what their pet parrot is up to! Yes you heard that right, Ping Pong Hurley (Warne’s gift to Liz) — “an enchanting blue fronted Amazonian parrot” as she calls herself, is on Twitter. She keeps busy pecking her owner, calling her a twit and abusing Warne for keeping her away, when not preoccupied with thoughts of freedom and mangoes for breakfast! Now that is something. Don’t believe us? Check this out... @PingPongHurley: Not amused that Keeper is in India with the Big Blonde. Come home, you witch.

most Newsy

Shashi Tharoor

(@ShashiTharoor) has been forever in the news, thanks to his tweets. Be it the (in)famous “cattle-class” controversy, the “Amul baby” comment or the IPL fiasco kickstarted by Lalit Modi, his tweets have even jeopardised his political career. And you thought 140 characters weren’t enough!

 

 

Most clueless

Dino Morea (@DinoMorea9)

When the whole of Twitter was trending about the election results from Jaya to Mamata, about the Green Revolution in Bengal, this is what our celeb wonder had to say… “What’s up people. Just realised it’s Friday the 13th. So anything strange anywhere yet? Or is it normal and boring?” You are logged on to the Net man… heard of Google?

 

t2 zooms in on the celebs who love tweeting pics and those who came, tweeted and left

We Miss You

@iamsrk (Shah Rukh Khan)

He was the uncontested King among Bollywood’s Twitterati… from interesting Q&As with fans and posting fun family and work pictures to tweeting constantly about living life king-size. But he suddenly went MIA from Twitterverse for a while. But now that KKR is back in action, so is KKR’s co-owner…. He recently tweeted about his on-field activity out of the blue. We hope he continues… at least for a while.

@sachin_rt (Sachin Tendulkar)

He loves leading an out-of-the-limelight life, when not leading India to cricket glory. So, following Sachin regularly on Twitter was a dream come true for his fans. Make that everyone. But sadly, the Little Master has been very infrequent with his updating. He comes and goes quietly, commenting only when the situation demands it. He should treat Twitter like one of his old adlines — Nothing official about it!

@aamir_khan (Aamir Khan)

Mr Perfectionist was a lot of fun when he was part of the Twitter crowd… from getting chatty with his Bollywood brethren to commenting on latest films. He provided a nice sneak and a very humorous peek into the film world. No one really knows what happened to put him off Twitter. Our guess? Sheer laziness!

@msdhoni (Mahendra Singh Dhoni)

“Feels good to be connected!” said the captain while joining T-land. And then he disconnected. But not before we got a glimpse of the lighter side of the skipper — chilling out, taking fun pics, cracking jokes. But becoming Calcutta’s jamai and India’s (and Chennai’s) Captain Cool must keep him really busy because MS is ‘virtually’ invisible.

@deepikapadukone (Deepika Padukone)

While Deepika’s beau Siddharth Mallya and his daddy paint Twitterverse red, the lady herself has been keeping a low profile (maybe after all the PDA she shared with Sid). We feel the Bollywood diva will become active again once her upcoming film is ready for release, as she did for Break Ke Baad and Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Se. Not fair, DP!

@kjohar25 (Karan Johar)

An erstwhile Twitter addict, who woke up saying “Good morning Tweeple” found out that he had a very low poke-fun-at-me threshold, threw a fit, a hearty tantrum and left Twitter in a huff. Nowadays, he comes and goes when it suits his fancy or he has a product or friend to push. But we truly miss his catty comments and his wry sense of humour and, of course, his crinkly-eyed, half-pout-half-smiling snaps.

@iHrithik (Hrithik Roshan)

Bollywood’s handsome hunk became a sensation when he joined Twitter. His pic uploads, his pally chats with his B’wood buddies were great to follow. But Hrithik uses his ever-elusive star quality even on the social networking site. He keeps disappearing, only to surface with a pic or a tweet to whet your appetite. It would be great if he microblogs more often. Just a few letters, Duggu!

@BillyCrystal (Billy Crystal)

Harry met the Sallys on Tweetaland but left before he could analyse this or that. The unputdownable funnyman could not even handle a month of Twitter mania, at least not regularly. He went into MIA after he admitted to wearing the same hat as Fergie’s daughter at the royal wedding... now that would have made for a fascinating Tweetpic!

@faroutakhtar (Farhan Akhtar)

He’s got a working Facebook account and so joining Twitter was always on the cards for the Rock On!! rocker. And he was so much fun... as long as he was at it. But he was present in June, gave July a miss, came back in August and gave the rest of the year a miss… far out, he said it!

@MadhuriDixit1 (Madhuri Dixit-Nene )

We all went dhak dhak when Mads joined Twitterverse, but the jubilation was shortlived. Between mothering the kids, wife-ing Mr Nene and shuttling between two countries, she hardly gets to frequent Twitter. She visits once or twice a month and that too to say “Enjoying spring in the Rockies.” #Heartbreak

They are now twitter vets and have developed their own signature styles. Here’s what the big guns tweet these days

@Schwarzenegger (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

The Governator actually finds time to rule, make political decisions, fly off for causes he supports, shoot for films, tweet quizzes, give gifts to fans, sign autographs... all at the same time. He is truly Mr All-Powerful and does not even get told off for wasting time ala @shashitharoor. Kudos Arnie.

@RealHughJackman (Hugh Jackman)

Mr Wolverine is anything but a tough guy on Twitter. He is adorable, cute and funny, even putting up pics of himself at baseball matches, spending time with his dad and family and, of course, his co-stars. Whether you like the man or the actor, Hugh is one celeb who makes the Twitter environment cosy and nice.

@shakira (Shakira)

Shakira doesn’t lie with her voice, her hips and definitely not on Twitter. Though she breaks into Spanish most of the time, you can get a nice look into the sexy Latino’s life, thanks to her tweets. We especially love the photos and the videos she uploads of her tours, not to mention those music video teasers. Waka waka, yeah!

@realpreityzinta (Preity Zinta)

Preity’s “Ting!” tag after her happy tweets has become legendary. She is feisty and bubbly with posts and pics. From friendly banter to promotional upload, IPL madness to filmi dose... she has a unique flavour to her tweets. If there was a popularity award, Pee Zee would bag it for sure. Ting!

@justinbieber (Justin Bieber):

Love him, hate him but you just can’t ignore him. Not on Twitter, no! He is all over it and trends almost every day. The singing sensation and teen heart-throb, who has been exercising his vocal chords since he was knee high not only tweets regularly but is forever uploading photos and giving gyan to the world! Follow him at your own risk.

@sonamakapoor (Sonam Kapoor)

Bollywood’s number one fashionista is definitely there on Twitter and doing what she loves best... sharing her opinions (lots), claiming to be the world’s greatest movie buff and reader, and, of course, uploading photos of her in designerwear and gushing over them. But if you like her, Twitter is the only way to get access to Aisha baby.

@ParisHilton (Paris Hilton)

The Hilton heiress is entertaining for sure. A sneak peek into the life of the rich and the famous is what her Twitter page provides you, with an unhealthy dose of LOL and OMG thrown in. Following her is an auto-entry into the world of the Nicole Richies and the Kardashian clan, her chihuahua, and her “XO darlings”. Scary, yes!

@mangeshkarlata (Lata Mangeshkar)

She is 82 and still active on Twitter. Whether she writes or her official penman, you have to give her credit for trying to connect with her fans. And if you like her don’t forget to look up the rest of the old-is-gold brigade comprising Asha Bhonsle and Dev Anand. A lovely trip down memory lane for the followers.

@SrBachchan (Amitabh Bachchan)

After changing the world of blogging, Big B is now a master at microblogging. He joined right on his son’s heels, and has already garnered over 765K followers. He still dates his tweets, and talks on everything from politics, social issues, his father’s poetry to his pretty people at Prateeksha.

@geneliad (Genelia D’souza)

She is cute, she is bubbly and a hot favourite amongst Twitter fans. Genelia, when not talking about her projects down south (which might leave you a little clueless), is adorable. She uploads pics, talks about her day and makes it a point to interact with her fans. But her abbreviations are way too abbreviated. Only for the geeky follower.

@LeoDiCaprio (Leonardo DiCaprio)

He might be making waves in Hollywood with one blockbuster after another, but he is one of the most low-key celebs on Twitter. He is all gung ho for a cause and is always promoting his Save the Tiger slogan. So if you are interested in the cause, he is worth checking out. Don’t expect to learn about his girls!