When it is a Salman Khan film, you put away your phone and keep your hands free to start clapping even before the film certification shows up. When it’s a sequel to a hit like Ek Tha Tiger in an almost-houseful show at 8.30am on the first day, those taalis start right after the National Anthem and continue till the end credits roll. Here’s how the audience rolled.

• Girish Karnad’s Shenoy sir is faced with an impossible situation — rescue 25 Indian nurses who are being held hostage in a hospital in Ikrit before the CIA carries out an airstrike in seven days. So, who should he turn to but the presumed-dead Tiger. The cheers and applause almost drown out Shenoy announcing Tiger’s name.

• Just a boot in the snow and the shouts will clue the clueless into the fact that this is Tiger’s entry into the film. He holds out his hand, not for Zoya as you’d expect but their kid, Junior.

• Tiger is the master of doing the impossible, so of course when he and Junior are faced with a wolf, he takes off the kafia (ceeti) and knocks him down with two axes (taali). But the dialogue that brought the house down (the first of many times)? “Tiger se behtar shikar koi nahin karta.”

• Not all the ceeti-taali moments belong to the Bhai though. One of the Bhai-less moments to get that attention is the introduction of Katrina Kaif’s Zoya, who is just grocery shopping in Austria, where she casually takes out three muggers without breaking a sweat, all before the CCTV camera completes one circuit of the store. The dialogue of the moment comes from the elderly store owner — “This is what we call women’s empowerment.”

• Shenoy finds Tiger and Zoya’s hideout, but only because, as Tiger points out amidst applause from the audience, Tiger “har thikane se pata bheja hai”.

• Tiger’s taken the mission and rides into the Lima Desert camp on a quad bike to howls of appreciation.

• What Tiger wants Tiger gets and when a dumbfounded RAW agent asks how Tiger can imagine getting the team he wants together this fast, all it takes Tiger is a ceeti and his team’s there.

• Tiger’s message to Shenoy through his RAW colleague? “Tu tu tu tu tu tara, jaa raha hai Tiger mission pe dobara.”

• Tiger saves a kid being used as a suicide bomber (taali) but gets the bad guys hot on his heels. He parkours, shoots and stabs, and then he rides a horse (ceeti, taali and yells). The horse and rider jump over a skidding bike bearing a baddie and the crowd loses its collective mind. 

• Zoya drives in, in a decrepit car, and saves the day. It’s bhabhi to the rescue. Her car flying stunt brings on the claps. 

• Siddhartha Basu’s character tells Shenoy that he supports Tiger on the decision of RAW and ISI agents working together on the mission (there are 15 Pakistani nurses in the hospital, which is why Zoya’s called in) because politics doesn’t matter, humanity does.

• Zoya infiltrates a group of female hostages who clean the City Council and are regularly raped by bad guy Baghdadi and his men. Baghdadi chooses Zoya. She takes off her burkha and calmly slits Baghdadi’s throat with a hidden knife. The fight that follows will make even non-Kat fans go starry-eyed.

• Tiger and Zoya are taken prisoners by villain Abu Usman who releases a toxic gas in the room telling Tiger “dum hai toh rok lo”, as he has Zoya dragged away. Tiger responds, “dum hai toh rok ke dikha”, and the crowd roars. 

• A group of Usman’s men enters the room to see if the gas has done its job. Then. He. Steps. Out. Of. Smoke. SHIRTLESS. The crowd goes wild shouting and clapping and whistling, which doesn’t stop till Tiger slips on his tee again, considerably later (his shirt was wrapped around his face to keep away the toxic fumes. There is a reason, okay?!).

• Angad Bedi gets his moment of glory as he saves a nurse who is strapped to a bomb. The bomb explodes and he runs out, holding the girl’s hand. 

• Abu Usman’s army has surrounded the hospital, but worry not because as a Tiger team member points out, “Tiger abhi zinda hai”. #ceeti

• Tiger walks out with a machine gun shooting in slo-mo Rambo style, and the audience can’t keep it together. 

• “Pata hai mujhe Tiger kyun kehtey hai? Kyunki zakhmi Tiger khatarnak hota hai,” Tiger tells Usman, after stabbing him with his knife. 

• Tiger phones Shenoy from Greece to tell him if his country needs him — “Tiger zinda hai”.

• Then the Swag se swagat song begins and the crowd stands up and refuses to leave.

What is your #Can’tKeepCalm moment from Tiger Zinda Hai? Tell t2@abp.in