After Bend it Like Beckham, where a young soccer-crazy young Punjabi girl, idolizes the soccer star, now Dvid Beckham, is to have a more complete depiction of his life. Titled David Beckham: The Musical, the stage adaptation, will chronicle Beckham's rise from obscurity to international stardom, his universally acknowledged gifts as a supreme sportsman and his Hollywood lifestyle. T2 checks out a few more lives that are the stuff that stage shows are made of.

Mamata Banerjee:

If opera is all that is Sonia, nothing suits Mamata Banerjee better than the loud ribaldry of the jatra. Anyone who has been following her speech will know that. She is loud, she is crass, she is bad, so bad that she makes you laugh in all the most pathetic speeches and cry with desperation at her antics. She beats her head, and then claims to have been beaten by the opposition, she goes on long fasts and has the CM frantically praying for her long life, she snaps at her followers, then bursts in to outrageous laughter as a woman insults the cops. In the midst of poring forth against the CPM, she stops, panting and exclaims, 'Ami ar chenchate parchhi na. Amar booke bethha hoy jachhe,'. Did we hear a citi?

Amar Singh… comedy:

Recall the image of Amar Singh posing coyly on the Cannes red carpet with the Bachhan clan and chances are you'll find it difficult to hold back a guffaw. The Samajwadi Party general-secretary and Rajya Sabha member is seen less in the political arena and more with bhaiyya Amitabh and his family at their many engagements. Bald, fat and with no glamour whatsoever he still insists on being with the gliterrati. If he had not been so good humoured, he might just be the perfect Malvolio, the way he continues in self-delusion. Quite the comic-act character.

Rabri devi:

As catering to mass appeal, as Mamata Banerjee. And so for her, we choose the nautanki, Bihar's answer to the jatra. Only she has none of Mamata's fire. She is happy being a shadow! But what a shadow. The vow as chief minister was taken not only from behind the ghoonghat, but almost from beyond the threshold of the kitchen, which is Rabri's true domain. Before it came many protestations of love and loyalty… nautanki ishhtyle, as Rabri vowed to do anything to lessen the torment of her lord forced to resign from the post of chief minister of Bihar on charges of corruption. Her life and rise to power is ghar ghar ki kahani, and absolutely suited for a dramatic, and song-and dance nautanki.

George Bush… tragicomedy:

The president of United State's many faux pas would have been tragic, had they not been so funny. During his two term Presidency, his popularity has touched the lowest for any President serving a second term. And he has been widely criticised for his foreign and domestic policy. Compared to a chimpanzee and the brunt of many jokes, Dubya is out candidate for a tragi-comedy.

Paris Hilton's dog, tinkerbell... tragedy:

Every dog has his day, but Tinkebell's don't seem any near. And if you think being the petted dog of a millionaire not a bad fate, even when she happens to be Paris, we want you to change places with Tinkerbell please. Can you imagine being owned by someone who doesn't know London is in UK, or who calls herself the 'iconic blonde of this age'? Which dog can bear her mistress making such a fool of herself. But Tinkerbell has borne it - and more. She has even borne being called Hilton's 'accessory dog'. How it must have hurt Tinkerbell's self-esteem, but she has borne it all with true tragic temper.

Sonia Gandhi:

We can only have an opera on India's bahu no. 1 - an opera with as many tears and twists of fate as a saas-bahu K-serial. Yes, yes, we know opera had its origin in Italy, just like Sonia, but we will Indiansise the opera, somewhat, for isn't the Gandhi bahu Indian now? Hasn't she even mastered Hindi as proof of it? Hasn't she… oh, there are too many things, she has done to establish her Indian sympathies. We will begin at the beginning, with the birth of Sonia in an obscure town of Italy. Here the Opera will croon in its original fervour. We will tweak the growing up years a bit, till she meets Rajiv Gandhi and a fairy tale begins - Indian prince, meets Italian beauty. The singer of ample proportions in her elaborate costume, will sing of their deep love, the opposition from Rajiv's family and finally how the young couple overcome all to marry. From here the opera becomes a little Indianised, as we show Sonia, in her starched salwar kurtas with downcast eyes beside her sasu maa, Indira. With Rajiv becoming the Prime Minister, our lady shifts to saris. But the bliss is shortlived - the operatic tenor here is heartbreaking as the blasts kill Rajiv. And then, Sonia's rise to power. In an almost agnipariksha like scene, Sonia is questioned about her rights to lead the Congress, and India. But all's well that end's well. Sonia refuses the chair, but Manmohan Singh is as ideal Bharata, ruling in her name. (Sorry, if we twisted our Ramayana a little. It happens only in India!)

Footnote on Lalu absurd:

Any thing on Rabri Devi is incomplete with out Lalu. And so on the same stage must be staged an absurd play on Lalu. The man who is a self-proclaimed angoohta chaap, can even pull off a scam believably, models his hairstyle on Sadhna and makes a sudden success of Indian Railways and consequently lectures to the best management minds in the county. Absurd, did we hear you say? We agree.