There are some cardinal rules to be kept in mind while watching a Rajinikanth film: 1) Over-the-top is gospel 2) Subtlety is a bad word 3) There will not be a single scene or a single movement in the plot without Rajini 4) Every other actor is insignificant, every other character is incidental 5) There are no cardinal rules in a Rajini film.

Robot’s visual opulence enchants, its sheer scale exhausts, its textured storyline engrosses and its leading man enthralls. If there ever was a film custom-made for the Rajini fan, Robot would have to be it.

Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man, comedian, villain, hero, robot, human, genius, lover, son … director Shankar makes the 60-year-old superstar (the opening credits say ‘Superstar Rajini’) do it all. For all those who have queued up and paid to watch the minute-long Robot promo, for all those who have waited months to get their hands on a first day-first show ticket, Rajini in Robot turns it on like never before to ensure that you get your every rupee’s worth — and more!

Billa to Basha, Siva to Sivaji, Rajini’s on-screen tactics are the stuff legends are made of. In Robot, however, there is no stylish flick of the cigarette, no sunglass trick, no halving of bullets with a dagger, no grandiose entry among fluttering leaves…. Instead we have Rajini the robot, an android that is Hulk and Godzilla one moment, Frankenstein’s monster and Anaconda the next. He saves, he kills, he resurrects, he destroys, he loves and he wants to live.

The brainchild of scientist Vasigaran (Rajini again) to aid the Indian army against insurgents, Chitti the robot is a wonder creation. He walks through fire, is resistant to water and feeds on electricity. In a rip-off from a popular saying that Rajini is the only one who can judge a book by its cover, Chitti even reads out telephone numbers at random by just staring at the directory cover! One moment, he plays chef and charwoman to Vasigaran’s fiancee Sana (Aishwarya). At another, he rescues her from a gang of goons in a superbly shot train sequence. When Chitti is not granted accreditation for his inability to discern right from wrong, Vasi invests him with human emotions. All hell breaks loose when Chitti goes into testosterone overdrive every time he spots Sana. When she refuses to reciprocate — “You are my toy friend, not my boyfriend” — robot turns rebel; Vasi’s own creation turns into his nemesis.

Shankar’s seamless imagination and unbridled ambitions make Robot come alive. The CGI technology is world-class, the special effects mind-boggling and Rajini’s make-up — the wig does take some time getting used to, though — is top-notch. There is a Rajini to be seen wherever your eyes go, courtesy a thousand clones! If in the pre-climax, he fires two dozen AK-47s at one go, in the last 10 minutes, he is every superhero we know rolled into one. And because it is Rajini, there is even a two-minute chat with a mosquito — remember Amitabh Bachchan and the cockroach monologue in Hum? — thrown in somewhere. But because this is a Rajini film, the mosquito talks back! Understatement is surely not the strong point of Robot. But do we mind? Not at all! In Robot, after all, crazy is cool; kitsch is kickass.

It’s rarely that you are able to divert yourself from the sheer force of nature called Rajinikanth, but in a role where she changes her looks as fast as Chitti rolls his robotic eyes, Aishwarya has nothing more to do than look uber-gorgeous, something that very few can do as well as her. She whimpers, she simpers and, well, she behaves like the Ash we all know. In the Kilimanjaro number, you don’t really know whether to gaze at picturesque Machu Picchu or gape at Ash in costume-change-in-every-20 seconds mode.

From the first frame to the last, Robot is a study in glam and grandeur. The technique, the locations, the costumes tell us where every paisa of that Rs 150 crore went. But it is not without its share of problems. The plot is laughable in parts, the dialogues lack the punch of a Rajini blockbuster, there are way too many songs and at 185 minutes, Robot is exhausting. Oscar-winner Resul Pookutty does a swell job with the sound design, but an uninspired A.R. Rahman comes up with an unmemorable score. It’s left to a rocking Rajini to make sure that ‘aal is (quite) well’ at the end!

Grab a tub of popcorn, settle comfortably into your seat and give yourself up to the magic and madness of Robot. It’s Rajini’s party and everyone’s invited.

Robot reckoner

What is the budget?

Rs 150 crore. Produced by Sun TV honcho Kalanithi Maran, Robot is “the most expensive Asian film ever”.

In how many languages has Robot released?

Three. Robot in Hindi, Endhiran in Tamil and Robo in Telugu.

Was Rajinikanth the first choice for Robot?

No. Director Shankar came to Rajini after Kamal Haasan and Shah Rukh Khan rejected it.

Was Ash the first choice for Sana?

Yes. Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, Asin and south stars Trisha Krishnan, Shriya Saran, Priyamani and Nayanthara were also in the running.

How many looks does Aishwarya sport in Robot?

57. All done by Manish Malhotra and Men In Black costume designer Mary E Vogt. A frilled costume in a song sequence was so heavy that it had to be carried by three people!

Where was Robot shot?

Brazil, US, Vietnam and Peru’s Machu Picchu

What kind of technology has been used in Robot?

Mechatronics, Animatronics (the use of electronics and robotics in mechanised puppets to simulate life) and Bullet-Time Effect (a digitally-enhanced simulation of variable-speed).

What has the hype for Robot/Endhiran been like?

The three versions of the film will be releasing on over 3,000 screens (with over 2,000 prints) across the world. At a US theatre, tickets for its Hindi, Tamil and Telugu versions for an entire week were sold out in 10 minutes. This is also the first film for which fans in Chennai queued up at theatres and paid to watch the promos!