FOREPLAY

Crazy In Love (Beyonce)
Beyonce ensures that the Fifty Shades Of Grey trailer gives you an eargasm: “Got me lookin so crazy right now/ Your love’s got me lookin so crazy right now.” The journey begins....
Tonight’s the Night (Rod Stewart)
The man famous for robbing women of their clothes leaves nothing to the imagination: “C’mon angel my hearts on fire/ Don’t deny your man’s desire/ You’d be a fool to stop this tide/ Spread your wings and let me come inside.”
Turn Me On (Norah Jones)
Just the stuff to hear while rereading EL James’s words. Norah sings: “Like a flower waiting to bloom/ Like a lightbulb in a dark room/ I’m just sitting here waiting for you/ To come on home and turn me on.”
Let’s Get It On (Marvin Gaye)
Making this one of the best bang-bang tracks ever is the boudoir king’s way with words: “Stop beatin’ round the bush, hey/ Let’s get it on.” And then listen to his Sexual Healing: “Baby I’m hot just like an oven/ I need some lovin’.”

THE RED ROOM

Anaconda (Nicki Minaj)
Urban Dictionary defines it as: “A large black p***s, named after the anaconda, a large black snake from the Amazon.” Need we say more? Um, yes, a line from the song: “He don’t like ’em boney, he want something he can grab.” This is Nicki’s perfect almost-knickers-off bow (make that bend-over) to American MC Sir Mix-a-lot, who originally gave us the Urban Dictionary “concept” of anaconda.
212 (Azealia Banks)
Why should guys have all the fun?! It rains “Now she wanna lick my plum in the evenin’” and “kick it with the b***h who comes from Parisian” in every other verse. 
Whole Lotta Love (Led Zeppelin)
Couples have conceived to “I’m gonna give you every inch of my love.”
Bang Bang (Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj)
What’s more bangity-bang than the Hrithik-Katrina film? Jessie J singing: “Bang bang into the room (I know you want it)/ Bang bang all over you (I’ll let you have it).”

SQUEEZE AND FLOG

S&M (Rihanna)
“Sticks and stones may break my bones/ But chains and whips excite me.” RiRi in fine candid form complete with banana devouring (no puns there!) in the music video.
Rough And Mean (Ska Vengers)
Probably the coolest S&M-themed song from India with Begum X voicing the sentiments of some women who don’t want to just cook and clean: “I like it rough, I like it mean/ I like ’em tough, I like ’em lean.”
Toyz (Missy Elliott)
Missy knows toys well: “What you mean I don’t need you no more?/ ’Cause I don’t/ I gotta bag full of toys.”
Squeeze Box (The Who)
About the lyrics — “Mama’s got a squeeze box/ Daddy never sleeps at night/ She goes in and out and in and out/ And in and out and in and out/ ’Cause she’s playing all night” — group member Roger Daltrey said: “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of in-and-out, mate.” Roger that!

ONE-NIGHT STAND

Lady Marmalade (Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, Pink)
The only French one needs to know to make the evening steamy and sticky –– “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” If you can’t decipher this, you’ll continue in Salman Khan’s School of Virginity!
Wicked Game (Chris Isaak)
The ear-porn written for “a wildcat” is all about lust that culminates in a wicked last line: “Nobody loves no one.”
Partition (Beyonce)
Put Beyonce’s words to action: “He popped all my buttons and he ripped my blouse/ He Monica Lewinski’d all on my gown… Take all of me/ I just wanna be the girl you like.”
I Want Your Sex (George Michael)
Georgie doesn’t mince words and neither should you after some elbow-bending at a pub: “I’ve waited so long baby, now that we’re friends/ Every man’s got his patience, and here’s where my ends/ I want your sex.” 

FLYING SOLO

I Don’t Need A Man (The Pussycat Dolls)
If a break-up is involved: “So let me break it down/ I can get off when you ain’t around.” The song came long before Lewis Hamilton drove in to be Nicole Scherzinger’s man. And then drove out.
I Touch Myself (Divinyls)
Don’t read too much between the lines because you can’t: “I touch myself, I want you to love me/ When I feel down, I want you above me.”
Fingers (Pink)
“I’m alone now/ Staring at the ceiling/ (Uh, Uh)/ I’m kinda bored now/ I can’t sleep” and the beat picks up. Self-explanatory.
Touch Of My Hand (Britney Spears)
During her Miami tour in 2009, Britney hit the audience with “I shut myself out from the world so I/ Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly” while lying in a bathtub.

AFTER-PLAY

Girl You’ll Be A Woman Soon (Urge Overkill)
This (Neil) diamond of a song is a classic: “Girl, you’ll be a woman soon/ Please, come take my hand/ Girl, you’ll be a woman soon/ Soon, you’ll need a man.”
Let’s Make A Night To Remember (Bryan Adams)
Of course the Summer Of 69 singer knows what he is talkin’ about: “Let’s make out, let’s do something amazing/ Let’s do something that’s all the way.”
Need You Tonight (INXS)
Catch the late-night show of Fifty... and then let Michael Hutchence do all the singing: “So slide over here/ And give me a moment/ Your moves are so raw.”
Light My Fire (The Doors)
Push your mate to the edge to Jim Morrison’s “Come on baby, light my fire/ Try to set the night on fire.”

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