CHANGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP ‘STATUS’

How often have you seen your friends on Facebook change their relationship status from ‘committed’ to ‘single’ — and back again ! — within a few hours?

What you choose to tell the world about the status of your relationship is important. Being fickle, indecisive or impulsive after a quarrel can create unwanted complications between partners.

“I will never change my status from committed to single just because I had a fight with my girlfriend. I mean, doing that is just silly! Why should the world know what’s happening between us?” said Saptarshi, a marine engineer.

A safe way — especially if it’s only been a few weeks or months into a special friendship — is to refrain from any status at all. “Changing relationship status frequently creates an unstable impression so I did not opt for a relationship status on Facebook. Everyone who needs to know that I am in a relationship already knows, so why make it public on social media?” said schoolteacher Nivedita Dhar.

Perhaps you could, you know, casually mention to your partner that you will be changing your FB relationship status just to make sure you are both on the same page! (P.S: Cap the time he/ she takes to ‘accept’ the ‘I’m in a relationship with you’ status at three weeks after which, well, you already know.)

But first figure out if you’re When Harry Met Sally or just Friends with Benefits.

ADDING his FRIENDS & FAMILY

This is a tricky one. You don’t want to look “over-friendly” but at the same time, you want to make an impression on his/ her friends and family.

“Until or unless you have met your boyfriend’s friends and family, I think it is stupid to add them,” said Surabhi Mitra, first-year student of Daulat Ram College, Delhi University.

There can be exceptions. “My girlfriend would constantly talk about her BFF who lived in another city. It’s like I knew her BFF’s habits and idiosyncrasies even before I met her! We even spoke a few times when my girlfriend would pass the phone to me. So I thought it’s okay to add her on FB even though we’d never met,” said Manish, 26.

With relatives, you could be treading on thin ice. “Adding his/her sibling is okay but adding the mother or father is, um, just weird. If you’re a new couple, I believe it’s very important to give some time for things to stabilise between yourselves first,” said Payel Ghosh, 23.

TAGGING

“If I am dating someone, why would I have a problem in getting tagged along with her in a picture? I am absolutely cool with it. What I cannot stand is getting tagged in a picture of a teddy bear! Now, that’s not at all acceptable for me,” laughed Maharshi Bhattacharya, a third-year engineering student.

Look out for signs — too much social tagging can be annoying for someone who has their work contacts on their friends list too. But if your partner is not okay with being tagged with you at all, maybe you should read between the lines! Maybe He’s Just Not That Into You.

i ‘louwwe’ you conversations. how much is too much?

Yeah, we’ve all read those mushy conversations between X and Y on Facebook. Sometimes, even when X and Y are sitting across each other on the same couch!

Just how much Luv Shuv on Facebook is okay? “I feel expressions like ‘love you’, ‘kiss you’ are sweet but there should be a limit. Posting very intimate pictures on Facebook can be a little overwhelming for others. If couples have to upload mushy pictures, there’s always an option of customising the post. Do it privately and share it with your close friends,” said Priyanka Jaiswal, designer.

“Posting many intimate pictures on Facebook with your girlfriend whom you have just started seeing is so not cool! I mean, people who have just been into a thing for a week... rather know each other via Facebook than go on letting the world know... that’s so not required. Not to forget, it can be irritating and annoying to other peeps who are in their Friend’s List. In fact, I had done all these before and now I feel it hampered our relationship to an extent. Things could have been better without doing that,” felt Sayantan Banik, businessman.

Also, it’s a status, not your diary.

BITSTRIPS overdose

Too much of anything can be cruel. Even if it’s something as cute as Bit Strips <3 <3 <3

‘unfriending’ the ex. when & how

We’ve all stalked the ‘ex’ on Facebook after a break-up. Is she dating someone else? Who’s that girl next to him in the picture he’s tagged in? Whose wall is she posting on the most? Does he remember me? Is she still friends with my friends?

To continue being friends with the ex on Facebook is still a moot point. For Ankita Banerjee, the answer is a definite ‘no’. “I can never be friends with my ex! For me, it’s like ‘once gone, gone forever’ and there is no two ways about it. Even if we move on, either of us will still be uploading pictures or status messages about our present love life and that might make things dirty between the ex-es! Also, I believe having many common friends because of Facebook will be nothing but a beautiful mess,” felt the PR personal.

Perhaps, boys tend to think differently. For 26-year-old Tapajyoti Deb, “it’s cool to be friends with your ex on a social network”. “I think it’s childish to block or delete your ex. Deleting your ex from your mind and heart is what counts, not from your friends list! My ex-es are on my Facebook friends list and I keep in touch with them and everything is very cool between us,” said the advocate.

Whatever you do, don’t stalk to the limit of adding his or her past or present partner on Facebook if you don’t know him or her already! You do want to move on, right?

Text: Pramita Ghosh

What are your relationship rules on Facebook? Tell t2@abp.in