Valentine’s Week is probably the only time you might get away being cheesier than a cheese-burst pizza! Here are some ideas....
♦ If the object of your affection is a friend, change your name on her phone to ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ Call her. Wait for her to ‘accept’. Even if she wants to decline, curiosity will make her take the call.
♦ Bake cookies and write your proposal on the frosting. You get to have them later as celebration/consolation.
♦ Order pizza with extra cheese. Shape it into a heart and write ‘Is this cheesy enough for you?’ on the inside of the lid.
♦ If you have a pet, write your message on a pretty piece of cardboard and run two strings through it. Hang it around your pet’s neck and have it delivered to your crush.
♦ Find an empty roof and write your message with fairy lights and candles. Blindfold her and take her up. Make sure you get a picture of her reaction.
♦ If you are good with the paintbrush, make a flipbook with doodles and cartoons about whatever he/she likes. Near the end, write ‘Will you be my Valentine’s Day date?’
♦ Offer them your tiffin. Make sure you have packed in a sandwich with a heart-shaped piece of cheese inside.
PS: Try ’em at your own risk.
Debroop Basu
What is the cheesiest line someone has used on you? Share with us at t2@abp.in
THOUGHTS OF A SINGLE GIRL ON VALENTINE’S DAY
1. Overpriced cards decorated with huge pink hearts? That’s SO not my thing. I don’t give a sh*t if I don’t have a Valentine today. Btw, this is just a day made famous by greedy card companies.
2. rrgh! This is the third time my friend has asked me what she should wear for her “special” V-Day date. I think I’ll tell her what I really think — that it doesn’t matter when you have that for a date. Ya, ya I’m a horrible friend but.... #SorryNotSorry
3. Last February 14 was a nightmare anyway. Who likes tiny portions of pretentious food? And who doesn’t order dessert?! Oh, and how that boy had prattled on and on and on about himself!
4. Among my Facebook friends it seems I’m the only smart one who didn’t fall prey to social pressures that demand one find a partner on a particular day. Single people have better things to do, just sayin’.
5. Lemme play Me, Myself and I and sing along to the golden lyrics: Oh, it’s just me, myself and I, solo ride until I die, cause I got me for life.
6. Sigh, it does get a little lonely at home when all you have is a tub of ice cream for company. Damn, what if I never have a good Valentine’s Day in my lifetime?
7. Wonder if my ex has a hot date tonight. Maybe I’ll take a peek at his Instagram. Well, whoever you are, here’s wishing you luck, girl.
8. I’m tired of being such a cynic. Maybe some hot chocolate and a F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon is what I need. Date nights with myself are the best. Why pamper anyone else when you can pamper yourself?!
9. Monica and Chandler are so adorable together! When will I find my own Chandler? Does he even exist? Maybe I should be on Tinder. How else will he find me?!
10. Just got a text from friend: ‘This date is boring as hell. VDay sucks!’ I KNEW IT! Being single rocks, man. Goodbye Tinder.
THOUGHTS OF A SINGLE GUY ON VALENTINE’S DAY
1. Thank god I’m single. Who wants to buy nyaka gifts and spend thousands on a silly girl? I am so much richer than my committed friends today. Take that, suckers!
2. I wish I had a girlfriend. I think it would be nice to have someone. Oh well, let me go watch Deadpool. *End of thoughts*
Agree or disagree? Share your thoughts at t2@abp.in
THINGS PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX
♦ There is beer in my fridge.
♦ Would you like to come up for coffee?
♦ Are you sure you want to keep the door open?
♦ Let’s Netflix and chill. (Yes, we can FINALLY use that line in India!)
♦ Come on up, I have a dog (when I actually don’t).
♦ Do you want to see my art collection?
♦ Do you want to check out my tattoo?
♦ My house is empty.
♦ Are you cold? It’s warm under the blanket.
♦ Let’s have dinner. And then maybe breakfast?
♦ It’s getting late. You should take a cab in the morning.
♦ Let’s go to the terrace.
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