The kinds of twiddly twos we come across in the three years of college can make a lifetime’s worth of rom-coms. Some wear their hearts on their sleeves, quoting Keats. Others dedicate dancing cat videos to each other’s Facebook walls. Whatever the case, their love is true (or so they say) and you’ll find them taking centre stage in any college you go to. Here are the different kinds of lovebirds that live on every campus and are almost impossible to ignore...

 

The I-can’t-keep-my-hands-ofF-you couple

They inhabit the shadiest and darkest corners and lanes of the college (*cough* Lovers’ Lane *cough*) and they make the most of it. Outside their natural habitat you’ll find them holding hands, hugging while walking to class and giving a peck on the cheek before the next class, all of which will leave you feeling uncomfortable and looking the other way. You want to tell them, ‘Get a room!’ But for them, that room is pretty much everywhere.

 

The Intellectual couple

From critiquing Obama’s speech to analysing Kafka and Murakami, this couple got their National Library membership together and spend their time in “intellectually stimulating” conversation. They frown at common thought and sneer when someone asks if they’ve read the new Kundera. They prefer quoting Derrida and Foucault and will make owl eyes if you say “Laters baby”.

 

The power couple

They are the lord and the lady of the college. They have all the power in the world and they know it. From politics to classroom ethics to teacher conflicts, this couple will sort you out. They are seen in the most populated parts of college, surrounded by their minions and hopeful souls listening to their dire crises. They spend all their time in college. If they have alone time at all, it’s probably spent discussing the fate of one or many of their charges.

 

The couple everyone likes

They started dating in the very first week of college and now they’re in the post-honeymoon period. They are both really cool and sometimes, it doesn’t even feel like you’re hanging out with a couple. They have their alone time for romance, but they make equal time for their friends. Everyone knows them and everyone likes them. Needless to say, they’ll be called to sit in on any conversation and join any group as they walk by. 

The not-a-couple couple

This is the couple that everyone suspects is a couple, but no one knows for sure. They give out all the signs — they hold hands when they think no one’s looking, they go on dates and movies but call it “hanging out” and are almost never seen without each other. But they always deny that they are an item, sometimes vehemently so.

The nerdy couple

They spend most of their time in Starmark, splitting the price for graphic novels. They have Star Wars marathon dates and they had gifted each other Songs of Ice and Fire before you became addicted to Game of Thrones. They know the names of all the planets in Doctor Who and only gift each other geeky stuff.

The activist couple

These will be found near the gates and classrooms, declaring war against the government on some issue or the other. They will take up the cause of any student with a problem with the college. They will protest class timings and duration, injustice against dogs and the likes. Their favourite movie is V for Vendetta and their favourite line — “People shouldn’t be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

The Long-Distance couple

You’ll see one half of the couple always on the phone, or on Skype, or WhatsApping or Facebook messaging or Snap Chatting. He or she will disappear when their better half is in town and you’ll find Facebook flooded with their selfies. That’s how they make do.

The on-again off-again couple 

You tread carefully around these people and try not mention their significant other’s name till they themselves mention it, because you never know if they are on or off at that time. They see other people and never have a dramatic fallout. They always leave the friends confused.

The mushy-mush-mush couple

From leaving Facebook heart emoticon posts and posting love songs on their Facebook wall to dedicatedly sending good morning and good night romantic forwards, this is the couple who, even in a group, will pretend they are alone. When they sit in a group, the group mysteriously disappears.  If they had a colour assigned to them, it would be a big fluffy pink. 

The break-up couple

These are the people who break up every second day for reasons that could range from something as trivial as not answering the phone to serious emotional upheavals. So when they say they broke up, no one is surprised. You just roll your eyes at them because, DRAMA!

The five-years-and-counting couple

This is the couple that followed each other to the same college from school since they couldn’t bear to be away from one another and the odds are, they’ll get married to each other too. They’ve planned their future as an “us” and probably even thought of names for their first-borns. They are usually the mommy and daddy of the group and, consciously or not, already act like a couple that’s hitched. They are a unit.