Smart sunnies. A cute fringe. A flowy summery dress with a long jacket. Kalki Koechlin looks relaxed when we meet her on a Sunday afternoon at Le Dupleix, which has the same laid-back charm as the Bollywood actress known for making brave career choices. Le Dupleix is an 18th century mansion turned into a luxury hotel in the French part of Pondicherry. There’s a fountain whistling under the wooden staircase and there are squirrels scurrying around the canopy of trees. You  know the place has got something to do with Kalki’s happy, easy vibe. Pondicherry is where she has grown up for a good part of her life. It’s where she comes back to, to get away from the busyness of Mumbai, and get her creative juices flowing. Back in her birth town for a special collaboration with Hidesign, we found Kalki in a self-introspective mood, seated in an old-world swing, rocking back and forth. 

We have fallen in love with Pondicherry! How come you shifted to Mumbai from a place like this?!

(Laughs) Kaam toh karna hai, kya karein? I was born and brought up here, went to boarding school in Ooty, but my parents were here. My dad started his hang gliding school here. My mom was teaching French; I was in the boarding school from the age of six to 18. So, I really feel that I have spent most of my time in Ooty. But yeah, the first five years of my life, then of course coming back and forth throughout my life. This is a beautiful place to grow up in.

What are your earliest memories of Pondicherry?

So many! We were in an apartment. I remember being in my mother’s basket. She was cycling every day and she would take me to the nursery school in a basket. I remember the sea and I loved going to the ocean but my dad hated the ocean! So, I had to beg to go swimming in the ocean. 

I was born in a big house near Auroville... Repos Beach... there there’s an old Tamilian house where I was born. There I had an amma who would look after me, she spoke French and Tamil. So, I grew up with her speaking Tamil and French. I had a lot of friends who were mixed... half-French, half-Tamilian. One of my closest friends is half-Indian, half-French.... we both grew up here together. I also remember being very bored when we used to go to the Samadhi (Sri Aurobindo Ashram) because we needed to be very quiet. Mom would want to go there to meditate for half an hour and I would just be like, ‘Kya karoon?’ There was a garden. I would go to the garden and chase the squirrels, but I wasn’t allowed to make noise. The strict ladies there would be like: ‘Shhh! Quite!’

So, you were a naughty kid...

Not exactly naughty. I was not a quiet kid. I had a lot of energy. I was a monkey! I used to climb trees. I loved it. I was always barefoot! I never wanted to wear shoes. I hated it when my mom used to make me wear shoes. Little Mowgli, basically. I used to have a pet squirrel. He used to roll up in my hair and sleep at night. So cute!

You must have cried leaving Pondicherry for your boarding school...

Even Ooty was really beautiful! Stunning place and my school has a beautiful campus. Lots of forest and gardens. I did have some homesickness. I missed my parents, but I think I got used to it quite quickly. There were some kids, I remember, who used to bawl their eyes out, but I was okay. I quite liked it! I think I am good with community. Here also my parents wouldn’t look after me... there was a whole community of people always around... there was always the village... Periya Mudaliar Chavadi was the village I was born in. So, there were always many people around. So, I am used to that atmosphere.

How has Pondicherry shaped you? 

I guess, somewhere innately, I have to find my peace inside myself. I always feel that that philosophy is important in life, that you don’t have to avoid hardships or run away from hardships. You have to know how to stay peaceful in those hardships. Even if you are living here (in Pondicherry), there are many other kinds of hardships... it’s harder to find work, harder to sustain yourself. It’s a simpler lifestyle... you won’t get the same luxuries that you get somewhere else maybe. 

I do think that growing up with that sense of inner calm and knowing how to spend time with yourself... like you are not always looking for a distraction... I think that peace has definitely helped me. The hectic lifestyle that I have... I am always travelling... I make it a point to give myself alone time every day, even if it’s just half an hour, where nobody is around, no other energies. I can download whatever has happened or go through things. Otherwise we have a tendency, especially in today’s world with social media... distraction, distraction, distraction... what’s the next controversy? Actually when you empty your mind of all that, that is when new things can come in.

As an actor, it is very important that you empty your vessel so that you can put in a new character or a perspective on something. 

Did you have a hard time settling down in Mumbai?

I think I had much harder preparation going to London. I went to university in London. I think that was a really tough time for me. Huge cultural shock. I had never lived outside of India. Even just the basic popular knowledge.... what’s the cool music? What’s the good TV show? You know what I mean? I never grew up with that culture. So, trying to be ‘in’ with it, I felt really out of it. Like Alice in Wonderland. 
But I think it was a really important foundational time for me to learn, first, to handle my own money. I got my first job waitressing in a place called Cafe Rouge. I did several jobs. I worked in a theatre also. So, it was an important time to find my feet, but it was tough. I was very lonely. I missed home. Plus, winter! Six months of grey, rain.... I found that one of the toughest things. I had put in a lot of weight in the first year of college, must have been around 4 kilos. 

So, everything shapes you...

Every experience shapes you for sure! Bombay was also tough in the beginning. In the sense... financially, very tough. I was just about making ends meet. Rent is very expensive in Bombay. I would do that one ad or some modelling that would get me through the month. Once in a while, I would borrow from my brother... my elder brother. I didn’t want to tell my parents... but there was a great theatre community that I immediately got in touch with and I think that really helped me. I kept doing theatre, rehearsing, stayed in touch with the tools of acting. Riyaaz, voice, body exercises, yoga. So, it wasn’t jumping straight into glamour.

Where do you get your strength from?

It is the accumulation of experiences that you gather in life that make you who you are. For me, the important thing that I have to keep coming back to is the sense of myself and the sense of who I am and why I do what I do, what I love about it. I think going back to exercises like writing in my diary every day, noting down things that went wrong and where I could have done better, constantly keeping a check on yourself because the habits are daily, na? 
It takes years to change into another person. You don’t notice those changes on a daily basis. You think you are the same person. Only when you write them down you realise… arre, do mahine pehle main yahin soch rahin thi?! That perspective comes because you spend a little time introspecting.

What do you often tell yourself?

There is a Japanese saying — today better than yesterday, worse than tomorrow… that you can only do that much in a day. Sometimes I feel there is so much change and choice and things that you want to do and you really cannot do all of them. So, it’s about doing one good thing a day and making it like a manageable difference. As long as you are taking one step forward every day, you are doing better and tomorrow’s always there to have more purpose.

Have the changes that have come in you always been for the good?

I think every experience helps you grow. I don’t regret the difficult times in my life. I feel I learnt to be more compassionate because of them. I learnt to connect with people better because of them. I learnt to be better in my future relationships with people because of them. I do think that hardships teach you a lot, but it’s also your attitude. 
There have been times when I think I had a bad attitude. I just didn’t feel like doing those things. I had a difficult period after I left Anurag (Kashyap) because I had to financially support myself and my family and I had do a lot more work that I didn’t want to do. Less artistic work and more money-oriented work, like ribbon cuttings and going to talks at all these colleges. And I found myself sulking… ‘This is not what I chose’, ‘I am an actor and I should be acting’. For six months I think I stressed myself out and when I changed my attitude… actually what can I learn from this… my network opened up and I met new people and (discovered) new avenues to do things. I started writing poetry. That’s where spoken words started coming from… from these talks. I was bored of hearing my own voice, talking about myself. I was like, how can I make this different? I started writing poems to make it more entertaining and more interactive for the audience. These are things you learn with time. After you’ve been miserable enough with one thing, you realise that nobody else can change, you have to change. I think that’s the essence.

Have you always written?

I have always written, but I didn’t really think of it as a tool to use in performances. I wrote for myself. I have written a lot of poetry, since childhood... my mom has all these poems of mine. It’s always been therapy also. It helps you get some anger out, but then I realised because I am an actor I can also use it in performance.

When do you write?

I write when I am unemployed, depressed, heartbroken (laughs).

Not when you are happy?!

It’s true! So far I don’t think I have written a very happy poem, ya. Sad, no? I need to become more peaceful inside. I think I have written some love poems, but I am too embarrassed to ever share them in public, but yeah, I usually write from a place of conflict or turmoil or something that I am struggling with. It doesn’t mean it has to be negative. Often through the piece it becomes a positive story, but yeah, it usually comes from a struggle.

Does that mean you are a romantic at heart?

Maybe. I don’t believe that you have to suffer in order to be a good artiste… no! But you do suffer, that’s the way of life. Death exists. No matter how close we get to people, one day one of us will die. This is the truth. Knowing that, how do you find happiness and peace?

But Pondicherry is the place you’d come back to the day you retire?

Oh my god. Hopefully before that! 2020! I am going to work out of here. That’s my aim. My mother and I have bought a place where we have built a house. It’s similar to this vibe (Le Dupleix)… old wooden furniture. My mom has done an amazing job. She used to deal in heritage furnishing. My mother lives here. I do come and visit… twice a year, maybe for like 10 days. If I try to aim to spend two-three months a year here, at least I get a lot more creativity done. I come here to work on a script. I switch off my phone and I am just working on that character… most of my poetry I have written here. I’d like to do more of that. That’s my aim.

Reading now

Margot: Sister Nivedita of Vivekananda, a book by Reba Som. Very interesting book. 

Music I love

I have a very eclectic collection. Sufjan Stevens. I grew up with the music of ’60s and ’70s for my parents… Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell… these were my influences, as well as some classic French like Edith Piaf. I really like old Hindi music as well. I learnt a lot of my Hindi from listening to old Hindi songs. Guru Dutt movies like Pyaasa… one of my favourite films... all the songs from that film… (hums Jaane woh kaise). I like a lot of Hindi films from the ’50s. 

Calcutta calling 

I come to Calcutta mostly for plays. I come there often with our play Macbeth, Hamlet… and when we are promoting our films. Oh, wait a minute, I am going to be working with a Bengali director! Satarupa Sanyal. We’ve just had an initial meeting. It’s an English language film.

KK’S TOP 6