Puri king Gajapati Dibyasingha Deb performs chhera panhara ritual (sweeping of chariot floors) on Grand Road on Wednesday. Picture by Pradip Sanyal

As a child I used to believe that Lord Jagannath was a magician who could see and hear everything that we do, punish the evil and love the good.

My equation with Him was very simple: I trusted Him and believed He would always be near me and so, I should be scared of doing or even thinking of anything evil. I used to feel sad for Him every time I visited Puri because there were thousands of people having emotional outbursts at His doors and probably praying hard to ward off the pain in their lives. In my mind, I knew He had the most difficult job in the world. I knew He had only a few hours to catch a lunch break when He got to eat and rest before getting back to the job. I was one of the thousands praying for something or the other every time I visited Him.

I grew up with my maternal grandparents, and would ask them a zillion questions about Lord Jagannath. All that my grandfather would tell me was that He loved everyone equally and would protect us from harm. As I grew up, my equation with the Lord changed. Like thousands of other devotees, I, too, would ask Him to grant me my wishes and to bless me, which as a child I believed He already did but as an adult I needed reassurance. Many prayers were answered and many were not. Yet, I love him and seek his guidance and assurance.

One of the most auspicious occasions for any Odia family is the rath yatra festival. The story of Jagannath and his siblings going to their aunt’s place and having fun was fascinating. The story behind Goddess Lakshmi getting angry with her husband is timeless. But I would always question why Lord Jagannath did not learn His lesson. Why would He make the same mistakes every year: riding the chariot and visiting His aunt!

My grandmother would make us take a bath before she switched on the TV to watch the live telecast of the rath yatra. Late in the night, we would go to see the rath and the Lord. Picking up the smallest strand of rope from the rath used to thrill me.

Getting my hands on one strand of the holy basil made me feel privileged. I had the audacity to stare at his mesmerising form and think of nothing. Something would fill my heart with love and devotion. And sometimes we used to get lucky and climb the rath to have a closer view of the Lord. Those memories are timeless and will always be treasured in my heart.

But now I believe I know in my heart why Lord Jagannath repeats His mistake every year. Perhaps to remind us that we should not let go of our virtues, love everyone and shed attachments. Treat everyone with respect and have compassion and empathy for everything under the sun. Today, miles away from Odisha, I still visualise the grand rath yatra festival and can smell the holy basil garlands on the Lord. Sadly, I can no longer be physically present to take part in the festivities.

My parents and grandparents call me to give updates on the rath yatra and the rainfall during the event. I get nostalgic and miss being home. I miss the fun of having arua feast at home and the night trips to Puri during suna besha. However, today I feel more connected to the Supreme Being and understand it is not always about getting your wishes granted. He has certainly infused his love in all our hearts. It is up to us to unleash the compassion and love for everyone or stay foolish.

He is the epitome of love, creation, equality, harmony and still the most mysterious magician ever.