The t2 office had a yummy visitor on Friday evening. En route to Eden Gardens for the Kolkata Knight Riders vs Kings XI Punjab match, actor-director-heart-throb Farhan Akhtar popped in to talk about MARD (Men Against Rape and Discrimination), a cause closest to his heart. He was accompanied by ace lensman Atul Kasbekar. Here’s how a 15-minute freewheeling chat with the t2 girl gang panned out. Verdict: We love Farhan even more! Go for it, Mr Mard!

Priyanka Roy: Why choose Eden Gardens and the KKR vs Kings XI Punjab match to talk about MARD?

Farhan Akhtar: Actually, it wasn’t me choosing this particular match. That we could use the IPL as a platform where MARD could amplify its message was suggested by Shah Rukh (Khan) when I was talking to him about this initiative after we had just started. He offered that we could do something with the Kolkata Knight Riders. When he said that, it sounded like a great idea and then we also involved Preity (Zinta), who is also a dear friend of mine, to support the initiative. And with the two of them involved, it was but natural that it would turn out to be this match and this venue. And that’s how we are here today.

Chandreyee Chatterjee: Whenever there is violence against women, they tend to alienate men. How would you make women understand that they need to get men on board? Farhan: Actually, this initiative is targeting men a lot more than women. A lot of people are doing amazing work in empowering women and rehabilitating victims of violence, but I don’t think there is much effort going into educating men… educating boys about the concept of manhood… the concept of masculinity. Of course there are many reforms required, but the larger change that we want to see is going to be a generational one, I feel.

Education will play an important role… and education vis-a-vis gender discrimination. If this understanding and awareness can go into schools and into the homes of students eventually.… Like it’s important for me to educate the people in my building… let’s start on an individual level. Then, you will start seeing a larger change eventually. That’s because today those who are young boys will tomorrow be in the police force, in the judiciary… maybe in governance and in positions of opinion makers. To redefine the concept of what a man is for these young boys is what we felt was important.

Manjushree Chancasana (college student, interning with t2): How are you planning to engage the youth in MARD?

Farhan: There are many ways of doing it. Apart from a few visits and the concerts I do at various venues, we also talk to students about the MARD initiative. Social media now is very, very powerful, especially with the young lot. We are reaching out to the youth very strongly through that medium. And there are also many events being planned going forward where we will be inviting student heads to come and interact with us because eventually it’s them who will become the messengers for this within their own institutions. It’s not possible for me to be everywhere and meet every single person and this needs a bit of a trickle-down effect where people start believing in the concept and start using it and then spreading it.

Atul Kasbekar: It’s not that today is a ‘MARD day’ and tomorrow it’s all over and done with. It’s a work-in-progress for life. Our idea is to change a mindset and for that it’s just not enough to make laws. Men should be made to realise that it’s uncool to be abusive or disrespectful to women.

Priyanka: Atul, how did you come on board and how do you plan on taking this forward with Farhan?

Atul: He’s been a friend for years and we (his celebrity management agency Bling!) manage his endorsements. In a chance conversation, we decided to come together… it was a meeting of minds, actually. He’s been very active on Twitter talking about MARD and so have I and we are both extremely passionate about it. And I feel that at one point of time, you need to do a little more than take a few pictures in your life! (Laughs)

Karo Christine Kumar: Where’s the handlebar moustache (the MARD symbol)?

Farhan: (Laughs) It automatically appears when we are in front of a TV camera!

Samhita Chakraborty: Farhan, our films have always objectified women and Atul, you have taken so many glamorous photographs of women which satiate the male gaze. How do you reconcile the two worlds?

Farhan: You know, you can’t really deny that there is a natural attraction that people have for each other. All this is very natural and is bound to happen and we are not here to tell men ‘Don’t look at women!’ (Laughs) If you find someone attractive, please do look at them (smiles, yes, THAT SMILE). When you talk about the male gaze, I feel it is asking a person to be just too holy not to look at a woman. But there is a boundary that, for the sake of decency, you just can’t cross. I think we should all appreciate beauty and, more importantly, understand what beauty really means.

Saionee Chakraborty: Let’s shift focus to the female gaze...

Karo: That’s something that is constantly on you!

Farhan: (Laughs) You know, I have grown up being surrounded by women and so I have become a little immune to it. I grew up with my mum (Honey Irani) and sister (Zoya Akhtar) primarily…

Priyanka: We are talking about the sexual gaze…

Farhan:… And then I met my wife (Adhuna)! (Laughs) I had some girlfriends before that as well. But the thing is that the major influencers in my life growing up have predominantly been women. I don’t know how to react to that, actually (blushes). It is what it is.

Riya Ghosh (t2 reader on Facebook): On a scale of 1-10, how MARD do you consider yourself?

Farhan: I cannot tell people to do something in which I don’t believe in or practise. To me, I’ll only talk about things that I believe should be done because I do them myself. I feel we kind of bring it down to another level of conversation or debate when we start doing things like ‘On a scale of 1 to 10, how manly are you?’ I don’t think that’s the crucial thing. I think we should be serious about this because it is a very serious problem. It is important to understand that as a man, firstly everything starts, whether it is respect or the dignity of another person, everything starts from the first basic understanding that you are equal. If that can come into a man’s head or a boy’s head… that there is no difference… that you all are equal, which means you are exactly the same form of human being as the other, everything will change. The problem lies in that there is no equality between the two genders.

Rimpa Roy (t2 reader on Facebook): Why did you choose the moustache as the symbol for MARD?

Farhan: It is just kind of a symbolic thing to represent man. In my lifetime, at least, I have seen more men with moustaches than women! (Laughs)

Farhan Akhtar with Atul Kasbekar

Atul: It is a really cool logo that JWT has done. In the process, you need one symbol to remind you. As an advertising mode of communication, it is a stroke of brilliance, if you ask me.

Saionee: Whose idea was it?

Atul: The name we came up with and then we ran it by JWT. They were really willing partners. Their design team came up with the logo which, for once, we did not have to ask anyone for option two!

Samhita: Are you thinking of making a movie with the MARD message?

Farhan: You know, I have a feeling that is going to happen very organically because it is something that I do feel very strongly about and I think films are a great way of reaching out to a wide number of people. Again, it is important because you have to put a story together. The thing in films that doesn’t work, in my understanding, is if you try to preach. People’s minds switch off. Firstly, you have to find an engaging story that somehow this message can be delivered through without you having to constantly tell people what it’s about. I think that will happen.

Atul: For all you women (in Team t2), you should work independently outside and explain it to guys what you think is now cool… it will make a big difference!