There’s a reason why India is crushing hard on the two Pretentious Movie Reviews (a web series hosted on YouTube) guys who have taken the virtual world by storm. Kanan Gill and Biswa Kalyan Rath point to everything that is notorious about Bollywood for us to point and laugh at.

There are the typical bad films like Gunda and Prem Aggan, which their reviews have converted into cult classics of another kind, and popular ones like Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!, which have had to bear the brunt of their scrutiny. And we the people just dig their efforts, waiting for the next movie review and fervently clicking on the like and share buttons the minute a new one is up.

Which is probably why their February 7 show (at Vidya Mandir) as part of Stage42 –– a new festival from OML, the company behind Bacardi NH7 Weekender –– was sold out within days of being announced, forcing the organisers to add another date to the schedule –– February 6.
So Pretentious are the duo that the show started a good 30 minutes late. And yes, they blamed it on “technical difficulty”, which helped reinforce the concept of Indian Stretchable Time!

What followed was a good 90 minutes of #LOL with the duo effectively breaking down the formula behind most Bolly flicks through “mathematically precise” graphs and video montages. 

From taking shots at Sonu Nigam to telling the crowd that Green Day’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me/ ’Til then I walk alone), is inspired by Rabindranath Tagore’s Ekla cholo rey to hinting at the AIB fiasco... the duo left us on a happy high.

Psst: While we waited for the show to start, cheesy Bollywood numbers –– from O O jaane jaana to Papa kehte hain — blared from the speakers. We loved the Pretentious touch.

A Kanan Gill stalker

Most, if not all — okay fine, all — of the duo’s Pretentious Movie Reviews have left me in splits. But to see Kanan and Biswa perform live, standing five feet away, was something else altogether. Throughout their 90-minute set, I found it hard to catch my breath because of uncontrollable laughter. They have a crackling chemistry and impeccable timing and while both are really good at what they do, my favourite is Kanan.

Nothing’s better than a guy with a sense of humour. Except Kanan Gill, ’cause he has that adorable face to go with his wit! He is spontaneous and doesn’t miss a beat while cracking a joke. His smile, his goofy dimpled smile, makes me weak in the knees, and no, I’m not ashamed to admit it. Yes, I wouldn’t mind staring at his beautiful jawline all day long, which looked even more delicious covered in stubble. Think he isn’t talented or funny? Here are five Kanan lines why you should reconsider:

1Kho-kho is like the Indian version of musical chairs. There’s no music or chairs.

2  Break-ups are like suicides. You just have to  know every single detail about it.  

3  I went to a bar once and realised at the end of the   night that drunk girls are like regular guys. They’re throwing themselves at you, which is how guys behave all the time. At that point, us boys start behaving like sober girls.

4  Why didn’t people use parrots instead of pigeons to deliver messages back in the day? With parrots, you could have sent voice mails.

5  Remember how in school the ultimate way to prove your honesty was by saying ‘mother swear’? Apparently, if you’re lying about something and you swear on your mother, she dies. Now that I think of it, that’s a horrible power to give a kid.

A Biswa stalker

Yes, yes, Kanan made me forget English — all I could do was blabber nonsensical words, with a generous sprinkling of grammatical errors when I met him backstage. And I wasn’t alone in my clumsiness. He has the power to convert hordes of young girls into screaming banshees. You could say it’s his comic timing — and damn, he’s hot! 

But who among the two is my favourite comic you ask? The lanky Biswa Kalyan Rath. 

I say, if Kanan is the beauty, Biswa is the brains  — and that’s not because the lad is from IIT. From (perfectly) copying Johnny Lever’s irresistible charm to his individual stand-up act on stage — Biswa had me laughing out loud. If the tiny Vidya Mandir seats offered me an occasion, I’d literally be doing the whole ROFL thing.

Sample a few of his hilariously unpretentious and honest opinions...

1 Hello people, I am Biswa and I’m from Orissa. I am also the fattest man there.

2  Jalayega nahin. Blogpost likhega! (When Kanan warned him against making fun of Calcutta and its people)

3 You know who has the worst job in the world? The ATM guy — his problem might be money, and the worst thing is that he’s THIS close to the solution!

4 Mythology and all the gods were created because one guy was stoned and sarcastic and the others didn’t get that. (On some Indians not appreciating sarcasm... a wink at the AIB roast)

5  Isn’t it strange that with everyone being especially touchy about religion, god has the smallest room in the house? Why not that master bedroom with an attached bath?!