Why Krrish 3 is mommy porn...

“You guys watch the movie, I’ll just gape at Hrithik,” I declared as we drove to the plex for a very late night show of Krrish 3 on Saturday. The movie opened with Hrithik Roshan as Rohit, the Koi... Mil Gaya guy, running an experiment with sunlight and mirrors. Greying dishevelled hair, hint of a pot belly, sagging jaw line and wrinkled cheeks, not to mention an inexplicable Jolie pout.

“Is this what you came to gape at?” my cousin brother whispered.

A few seconds later, the bumbling Rohit makes a breakthrough and waddles towards a closed door. Knock, knock. The door opens to reveal a bare-bodied Hrithik as Krishna aka Krrish — six pack, chiselled arms, lean waist and tracks hanging oh-so-low from his sculpted hipbone. G.u..p.

“No, this,” I whispered back. My cousin didn’t bother me for the rest of the movie.

Krrish 3 is being called a children’s film. Hell no! Krrish 3 is mommy porn, Rakesh Roshan’s little thank you note to mothers for taking the kids to the theatres amid hectic Diwali and Bhai Dooj celebrations. And for once, I am sure mommy isn’t complaining if daddy hasn’t come along for the movie. But why blame the mums? Hrithik Roshan is by far the best-looking man in Bollywood. Now and ever. Jodhaa Akbar. Dhoom 2. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Krrish 3. Case closed.

And shirt open. Hrithik has just two peekaboo scenes in Krrish 3 — once when he opens the door to his dad and one unbuttoned shirt in a song with Kangana Ranaut — and those by themselves make up for the presence of Vivek Oberoi, as Kaal the villain. The same way Hrithik’s swaying hips and fluid dance moves make up for the apology of a soundtrack by Rajesh Roshan.

Hrithik is all muscle and tone in Krrish 3 but it’s not the steroid-fed beefcake look made famous by the Salman Khan-Sanjay Dutt brigade. Hrithik is lean, long-limbed and ramrod fit, one who deserves to wear the sweeping black cape of a superhero. Not like android uncle G.One. Hrithik makes Krrish believable, lovable and well, many more things do-able.

Let’s move up to the face. Handsome men are compared to Greek gods. I think it’s time we started rating Greek gods on the Hrithik--meter. The 26-year-old sweet young man who charmed us in Kaho Naa... Pyar Hai has grown into this smokin’ hot dish of deliciousness that needs to be savoured at leisure. (Psst: just bury your memories of Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, Yaadein and Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham deep, deep into your subconscious). Hrithik at 39 is all man but even as he grips you tight with those iron arms, you know his kisses will be soft and gentle. As Kaaya, the half-Kangana half-reptile, found out and promptly fell in love with him.

Fangirling aside, one can easily see that Hrithik has grown into the role of Krrish and is far more confident of donning the mask and cape in Krrish 3 than he was in Krrish, which was his first superhero outing. Here’s hoping Krrish has far more to do in future films in the franchise... and far less to wear!

Samhita Chakraborty
Is Hrithik Roshan the hottest Bollywood hero of all time? Tell t2@abp.in

 

... and why you’ll never have to watch another superhero film again!

If you watch Krrish 3, you will never have to watch any other superhero film, ever, because you will have already seen every superpower possessed by every superhero and supervillain you’ve heard about in this one film.

Well, maybe not every superpower. No one in the film can control minds or become invisible, yet! But Krrish Jr. can already fly, so, who knows? But Krrish aka Krishna (Hrithik Roshan) can — a) jump like Hulk, b) fly like Hancock, c) run as fast as Flash Gordon, d) use sunlight to gain back strength like Superman and e) control objects that have iron like Magneto.

When I went to watch Krrish 3 I was sure about two things — Hrithik Roshan would be drool-worthy and the CGI would be complete rubbish. I can gladly say I was definitely right about the first, and quite pleasantly surprised about the second.

The special effects were unexpectedly effective especially when it came to Krrish, whether when he is flying, running super fast or fighting. My personal favourites are his landings, especially the first one (picture below) where he is trying to stop a plane from crashing.

I was sure that Kaaya’s (Kangana Ranaut) shape-shifting was going to be a mess. It wasn’t, at least in the first transformation, till it reached the face where it became plain disturbing. Then the guys doing the CGI seem to have become bored and got rid of the transformation bit. The morphing of the shadow while Kaaya (picture below) changes from Krishna to Priya (Priyanka Chopra) was inspired though.

The effects were also sloppy during the climactic battle, especially where Krrish does a Hulk in The Avengers, where he flips Kaal around like Hulk did with Loki.

Krrish 3 was also a spot-that-Hollywood-movie run and that was a lot of fun. Here are a few examples:

Krrish stops a plane crash like Superman in Superman Returns.

He stands atop a crane keeping watch on the city like Batman in Dark Knight.

Supervillain Kaal played by Vivek Oberoi is wheelchair-bound like Professor Xaviers of X-Men, has powers like Magneto of X-Men, gets his costume, which looks like the RoboCop outfit, in an Iron Man-esque way.

His minions are all from the X-Men franchise, I mean inspired from. There is the Mystique-like shape-shifter Kaaya, a character like Toad with his prehensile tongue (though this one has a taste for ice cream!), a guy with superhuman strength like Beast but without the blue fur and a Nightcrawler-like woman who has the powers of teleportation. But none of them, apart from Kaaya have names!

Kaal’s secret lab on a snow-covered mountain is absolutely like the Umbrella Corporation outfit under Raccoon City in Resident Evil.

The climactic battle that destroys a very Manhattan-esque Mumbai is inspired by this summer’s blockbuster Man of Steel.

Also, the film was really disturbing on a different level. I mean I can’t remember a single supervillain who killed his own father (Kronos doesn’t count as a supervillain), even if he was the adoptive father. Even Loki got someone else to do it for him in Thor, that too when he was all grown up. And let us not even mention unnecessary song-dance sequences because, well, it’s Bollywood!

The one thing that Krrish 3 has over every other Hollywood superhero film is a superhero who has moves like Hrithik Roshan. #win

Chandreyee Chatterjee
How would you rate Krrish 3 as a superhero film on a scale of 1 to 10? Tell t2@abp.in