Nicolas Sarkozy: cellphone offender

At work

We may be following all the rules in the etiquette book — how to behave in front of the boss, how to build camaraderie with colleagues, how to be 12 hours on the job — but how many of us adhere to the basic rules of cellphone etiquette every day? Blaring your lungs out on the cellphone in the closed and quiet space of office is something that many are guilty of, often with nary a care or blush. “Whether it was conversing with the boss, fighting with her boyfriend or telling her mother what to cook for dinner, a colleague in the adjacent cubicle was always so loud that I just couldn’t concentrate on my work. When subtle hints did not work, I requested my superior to seat me somewhere else,” says 27-year-old Nandita Basu (name changed), an executive in an advertising firm. Do you really want all and sundry to know your personal problems? “I now know that my colleague’s brother just lost his job, and that her sister is heading towards a divorce, all courtesy her loud phone conversations,” laughs Arijit Dhar (name changed), 30.

Cellphone rule # 1 — Keep those conversations low, so that the only person who can hear you is at the other end of the line.

If loud conversations are a problem, forcing your colleagues to dance to the tune of your loud ringtone is downright offensive. “When in the middle of important work, nothing can be more unsettling than Singh is kinng blaring on a colleague’s phone,” complains public relations manager Ananya Mitra Neogy.

Cellphone rule # 2 — Baba Sehgal singing Thanda thanda paani does nothing to help your credibility at work. Keep it simple and soft. Better still, use silent or vibrator mode.

We all know when the cellphone becomes your closest companion — during that long and boring meeting when you shoot off 10 texts a minute with your hands under the table. “We even send messages to each other, right under our boss’s nose,” giggles 23-year-old events executive Neha Saraogi (name changed). And answering a call in a meeting is just not acceptable, unless it’s mission critical. “The rings alone are intrusive; answering is an even worse breach of etiquette,” writes etiquette expert Kate Zabriskie.

Cellphone rule # 3 — Even if that meeting is unbearably boring, make sure your fingers stay away from your cellphone keypad. The boss sees everything!

A major breach of manners at the workplace is leaving your phone in ring-mode during an interview. “A friend forgot to put his phone on silent while in a job interview in Boston. It rang in the middle of the interview and he was asked to leave immediately. No amount of apologising helped,” says banker Sunil Dasgupta.

Cellphone rule # 4 — If you switch off for a few moments, it won’t kill you. Not switching off just might.

In company

Can anything be more irritating than catching a friend fiddling with his phone as you try to converse with him? Let’s face it — all of us have been guilty of this kind of rudeness at some point or the other. Even French President Nicolas Sarkozy has been found guilty, being advised repeatedly to drop his habit of texting in company, especially when that company is other heads of state.

“I have had a friend answer her phone while we were out for lunch. She carried on with the not-so-important call for a good 20 minutes while I was forced to just sit there and stare at the ceiling. What’s more, she didn’t even apologise after she hung up,” says college student Madhumita Choudhury. And tinkering with your cellphone when the wife is talking about a hard day at work or being caught texting when out on a date can precipitate far more than a fight.

Cellphone rule # 5 — No matter how boring your companion, texting and making calls unless absolutely necessary is best avoided.

In public places

When you can’t be bothered to attempt discretion in office or amongst friends, what chance do strangers have? How many of us even bother to switch off in hospitals and libraries? And movie halls are where cellphone addicts of all shape and colour seem to congregate.

“Not only do people fail to keep their phones on silent, many of them even carry on a loud conversation right there in the middle of a movie. Such insensitivity!” complains model Jessica Gomes. And though some city restaurants like Peter Cat and Mocambo request patrons to switch off their cellphones or at least keep them in silent mode, practically no one adheres to the rule. “It wouldn’t be a bad idea for restaurants and cinemas to introduce cellphone rooms, just like they have smoking rooms,” suggests marketing professional Shubho Banerjee.

Just like in the workplace, remember that private conversations need not be relayed to those around you. “I once overheard a woman telling her husband where the spare key to the house was kept. That kind of information could be dangerous if heard by the wrong person,” says Shubho. And even public restrooms should not be mistaken for PCO booths. Watch an award-winning short film named The Call to know how unsettling a restroom phone conversation can be for someone in the next toilet stall.

Cellphone rule # 6 — Low is the keyword. Both your voice and your ringer.

Behind the wheel

The department of telecom warns users NOT to use a cellphone in any way while driving a car. And that applies to those using Bluetooth or hands-free device.

Cellphone rule # 7 — While driving, hands off!

On a flight

They think it’s bravado, we think it’s stupidity, but it simply beats us why some people refuse to switch off their cellphones during a flight, despite repeatedly being requested to do so. And for the ones who do oblige, there is an urgent rush to switch on their phones even while the plane is still taxiing on the runway after landing. We are oh so important, are we?

Cellphone rule # 8 — Remember, the world still turns when you are “not available”!

SUNDRY CELL SENSE

• Have you ever dialled your friend’s number only to be startled by a voice mouthing expletives in a Rajanikanth twang at the other end? Just like ringtones, bizarre and disturbing caller tunes can be truly offensive to the person at the other end of the line. “A friend’s caller tune is that of a woman screaming out in pain and fear. I have palpitations every time I call him!” complains college student Nayantara Chakraborty.
• A five-star hotel in the city bars its employees from subscribing to caller tunes, because it doesn’t want its patrons to be subjected to a song — pleasant or otherwise! ! The ear-borne Bluetooth device, convenient as you may consider it, is just not cool. Especially when people miss the blue light emanating out of your ear and think that you are talking to them. “Once I saw a man with two Bluetooth devices, one in each ear.What was he thinking?” asks Mita Bhattacharya, 29.
• It may not be a breach of etiquette, per se, but flashing your high-end phone is just so tacky. “I think that's the worst breach of cellphone etiquette. It screams out wannabe,” says Shubho.
• The department of telecom has asked handset manufacturers to advise consumers not to take pictures using their cellphone cameras without seeking permission from the concerned person first. Would that mean the end of the MMS clip?

CELLPHONE FEATURES THAT ALLOW US TO BE RUDE

• Caller ID: For many, the best feature ever to screen unwanted calls.
• Flight mode: Put your phone on flight mode and pretend to be unreachable (and play games all day).
• Poor reception: Bored with a conversation? Just cut the line and later claim the call dropped.
• Setting a background sound: A new feature provided by some service providers. Set a background tone of busy traffic and fool the boss into thinking you are on a sales call when you are actually at home!