Your first romance, step by step

There is something inherently romantic about college love. And, more often than not, college romance follows a fairly similar pattern...

Step 1

Over the first few months, you interact with a number of people and slowly find your group of friends. Soon you realise that you’ve started liking someone a little more but you wouldn’t want to admit it because at this stage, you’re more afraid to lose a friend than gain a girlfriend/boyfriend. 

Step 2

Your affection steadily grows and you want to spend more time with the person but you can’t because there are always too many friends around. But you can always steal glances at them, torn between wanting them to notice and not to notice.

Step 3

You suddenly realise that the other person is reciprocating your glances and you feel that they might just like you back. Both of you start making stupid excuses to spend some time alone. You start calling him/her in the middle of the night just to ask for something as stupid as the syllabus for the exam, which is probably six months away. 

Step 4

Pretty soon, the whole college starts gossiping about you and tags you as a couple, teasing you separately about the other. Deep down you like the idea but, on the other hand, you don’t want things to become awkward between the two of you. 

Step 5

You finally gather all your courage and tell the person what you really feel about him/her and voila, you’re dating! 

Step 6

You are the new couple on the block and everyone wants a treat from you, even the ones you’ve never spoken to before. You are very much a couple but you still feel awkward about holding hands in fear of being made fun of by your friends.

Step 7

In a while, you forget about the judgemental eyes and become comfortable being a couple. You are with each other all the time and couldn’t be bothered about what the rest of the world thinks about you. You’re so into your new status that you start taking a few of your friends for granted and lose them in the process. 

Step 8

You start being treated like one unit because you’re with each other 24x7. Inviting your girlfriend/boyfriend to a birthday party means you’re automatically invited and vice versa. Public interest in your love life dies because you are old news and you are finally left alone! 

 

Hiccups of College romance

• What seems like a high for the first two years becomes a bit of a hiccup in the third. But hey, you at least get to figure out what’s working and what’s not.

 

• Pocket money is always an issue because you never have enough to go on a special date, especially if you want to combine a movie and a meal! 

 

• Your relationship becomes college property. Everyone wants to know what’s going on and is always ready with their expert advice and comments.

 

• Jealousy is one of the ugly factors that rears its head, especially if your Significant Other becomes too friendly with someone else or makes her own plan excluding you. It’s “have fun, baby” on the outside, but “abort mission” on the inside.

 

• It is more than likely that your professors will get to know about your relationship. Hence, anything from low attendance to a poor exam score will be blamed on the relationship. Get ready for long lectures/snide comments from your professors on how your relationship is ruining your academic life.

 

• You become the punching bag of your SO. He/she will take out his/her anger on you about something a common friend did or said and you are left wondering ‘What the hell!’ But you grin and bear it.

 

• One of the most annoying things is being asked to treat people when your SO has achieved something or when it is his/her birthday. “I saw your girlfriend/ boyfriend on TV yesterday, treat de”, “I heard your girlfriend/boyfriend aced the exam, treat de” are some of the instances when you’d wish you were very far away.

 

• Even if you have been hopeless regarding your academic performance throughout, when you see your partner bringing better scores than you, you begin to feel an added pressure.

 

• You get tired of the “ooohs” and “aaahs” that keep coming whenever people spot you walking or talking on the college campus. 

 

• Friends tend to forget or take for granted the fact that both of you have different opinions and preferences. Two-bodies-one-soul ain’t cool.

 

The highs of college romance

• College romance may not be as rose-tinted or dramatic as in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai or Ishq Vishq, and though all the single people look down on couples (too much mush they say, we say grapes are sour), college romance has its highs — some practical, some emotional. 

 

• You meet every day in college, sometimes you walk each other home, sometimes you meet up before college just to spend a few extra minutes and all of this spares you the costly weekend dates. 

 

• You are never out of things to talk about because nothing beats everyday college gossip. If it is not studies it is what a common friend said or whether two of your friends are on the verge of dating. There is always something to talk about.

 

• There is little scope for misunderstandings involving your partner’s friends because they are usually common friends and mutual friends don’t really try to mess things up too much. 

 

• You get to know each other in a way that would not have been possible otherwise as you deal with each other in all kinds of situations good or bad, stressed or chilled.

 

• Your college attendance is never a problem because you cannot think of taking a day off and not meeting your significant other. It works even better if you are in the same class. 

 

• Holding hands or trying to get a quick kiss without your friends noticing becomes the sweetest memory of college life. 

 

• Since you hang out with your friends in college most of the time they don’t feel abandoned and therefore, don’t have negative feelings about your SO. 

 

• When the class gets too boring, you can just exchange a special look and smile to get you through the rest of it. And if you are not in the same class you know you can meet him/her as soon as it is over. 

 

Break-ups on campus

• Break-ups are bad. Even the mutual ones leave you depressed and when you are in college, break-ups take on a whole new level of hurt not only because it was probably your first serious relationship but because being in the same college with common friends makes it a personal hell. 

 

• If your relationship was college property, do you think your break-up won’t be too? Everyone makes it a point to come up and ask “Did you guys break up?” and those who you spoke to a little bit more would even add a why, what and when to it. You might tell them it is none of their business, but you still have to prepare to have it hauled up for the foreseeable future. 

 

• Your common friends in college start acting like guardians and try and “help” resolve your problems, and end up causing more. 

 

• If you have a mutual friends circle, there will definitely be a split in the group where some friends support your decisions and some your ex-SO’s. You not only lose your loved one but some friends as well. 

 

• Bumping into him/her becomes awkward as you struggle between looking at and ignoring them. Exposure to him/her for extended periods of time has disastrous effects as you lose control of your emotions and end up doing or saying something really stupid or desperate. 

 

• Seeing your ex move on with his/her life can be excruciatingly painful, especially if you haven’t gotten over it.

 

• In all likelihood, you’ll end up seeing your ex start dating again. Ouch!

 

• Rebound relationships are a common result of break-ups and since they never work, you mess up your life some more with yet another break-up!