I read too many books. According to grossed-out friends (readers are judgemental), I read too many books all at the same time. Most people believe two is too many. But really?

Think of it as Tinder-style reading. You swipe right, that is buy, beg or borrow the books to start with. You make light conversation with a couple of pages. Mentally peg them in types, turn a few more pages to see if you are right and then let the game take its own course.

You get into the goofy one when you need to de-stress. After a hard day at work maybe?

There are the ones you know you’ll have just a single date with — airplane reads or books you pick up when you’re staying over as a house guest. It’s pleasant but momentary. You always go back to the other ones.

Then there’s the giving, generous type, which makes a home in your tote. You read a couple of pages during your commute or maybe at work when there’s a lull. It’s good, but more a case of attraction due to proximity. It is never really the real deal. You may save them for mealtimes and such. Admit it, there’s no pleasure greater than keeping a page open with one hand while you shovel in your dinner with the other.

Then there are a few that are good to look at, great to own. But in your heart of hearts, you know you’ll never get to the end of the road with them. They were just a moment’s passing fancy, or the arm-candy that gives you a brief ego boost. So they basically warm your bed, or bookshelf if you’re not the pile-them-high-on-the-bed type.

There’s also a few that friends make you ‘tap’. But someone’s hot cup of tea can be your lukewarm dose of momentary caffeine. These you fit in whenever there’s a little time. Waiting at the dentist’s maybe.

You inevitably find amongst them all, the ‘deep one’ you really connect with. You can only take that kind of intensity when you have time and mental energy. You plan your reading time so you do it full justice. And then the rest of them do not matter. They get you. They speak your language. They demand you speak theirs.

In there somewhere is also the one you can’t wait to get down and dirty with. You just can’t get enough of it. You read everywhere — in the loo, on the breakfast table, during your commute, furtively at work… Word of caution, sometimes they finish before you do. And you wonder if all that effort was worth it.

Just a plain ol’ round of doing the dirty? Oh yes, a dirty read you know you just have to do and get over with, it holds no meaning, but all the attraction. You just fish out your e-reader or spy it on Juggernaut. Who says 24 hours is not enough?
Love, you ask? Well, in the world of books, much like the world we live in now, there is no point looking for “the one”.