Students should be taught to report bullying to a trusted adult or to distract the bully without putting themselves at risk, said an association of early childhood and primary education.

A 24-page document, published recently, contains directions for students, schools, and parents.

The document says it can be hard to tell the difference between “normal teenage moodiness” and being depressed, but one should be alert to the warning signs.

If a child discloses distress, the parent should resist the urge to minimise their feelings by using phrases like “cheer up”. Instead, they should validate the pain and thank the child for sharing their feelings, the document says.

Rise in cases

“Bullying has increased over a period of time, and more in places like school buses because there is less supervision there. When bullying increases in any one place, it has an overflow of the same bullies in the school or other places. Younger children are now becoming victims of bullying,” said Swati Popat Vats, president of the Early Childhood Association (ECA) and Association of Primary Education and Research (Aper).

“A school should have a policy in place which is transparent to all concerned, which means children should know about it, teachers should talk about it, and parents should know the roles, responsibilities and consequences,” said Vats.

Policy in place

The document says schools must have an anti-bullying policy to deter all groups from indulging in it or tolerating it.

The policy is for children above six years and goes right up to the age of becoming a teenager at 13.

The association is asking member schools to put up the policy on their websites for wider dissemination.

Students’ role

The policy encourages students to be “upstanders”, teaching them to safely intervene, distract, or report bullying.

They should be taught the names of three adults in school, who could be the counsellor, coach, favourite teacher or administrator, whom they can go to immediately if a friend is in crisis.

“A child is a witness to another child being bullied, and so a school should try to develop empathy in them and help them understand that even if they see something wrong happening to a peer, they should report it,” said Vats.

They can be made to understand that it could be fear, shame or sometimes a misplaced sense of guilt that is stopping the bullied child from opening up about it to anyone.

Protecting the victim is not enough, and efforts have to be directed at addressing children so they refrain from becoming bullies.

Start early

Bullying is not a problem with older children alone. But even children in junior classes bully or fall prey to it.

“The earlier we start, the better, because then we can mould their thinking and help them understand why bullying is not acceptable,” said Suman Sood, national core committee member of the ECA and Aper.

Children in junior classes might not always bully someone intentionally, but however unintentional, it might have serious consequences.

“When children understand that bullying is wrong and unacceptable, they become more inclusive in their approach towards all, including children with special needs,” said Sood.

Part of curriculum

To effectively teach children that bullying means harm, not fun, awareness about it
must be integrated into the curriculum.

The document also lays focus on the role of the parent to understand the mental health of their children and be vigilant about any warning signs.

Role of parents

The policy encourages parents to listen to their children and foster that sense of confidence in them.

For example, it is mentioned that parents must resist the urge to minimise their feelings and say “cheer up” when they speak of any discomfort.

They should respond by saying: “That sounds incredibly painful and overwhelming. Thank you for telling me. I am here to help you get through this.”

“Nobody is teaching parents, and so they don’t know how to respond. They need to be told as well,” said Vats.