(From top) Drew Barrymore-Jeremy Thomas; Jason Alexander-Britney Spears; Nicolas Cage-Lisa-Marie Presley; Jennifer Aniston-Brad Pitt; Demi Moore-Bruce Willis

Just how much starry meat can you gorge on until the celebrity bone shows up? In Hollywood, it?s more about delicious skin than the undiscovered soul, and it?s more about the ?when? than about the ?why?. Hence, as you now read these lines, it may come as a surprise that super-glue celebrity couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston?s pasty stage show lasted all of four and a half years as in marriage, and seven years as in togetherness. But people, there were times when you genuinely prided on celebrities like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman holding on to each other like an everyday loving couple until the ?H? factor came into play. So it now comes as no shock when this couple parts ? it?s just mother nature playing her role in a world called Hollywood. A planet that is very different from the one that you and I live in.

And that world gives us so much to think about, making us so very humane and so very unstarry. Thank God for that. Away from the arclights is hardly a place to be when you?re twinkling up there with the stars and how bright you can get sometimes depends on just how good or bad your career graph is. But in this case, the awesome pair evidently got bored of each other. It was expected ? Brad Pitt was always considered too hot and Jennifer Aniston was just another piece of Hollywood cake. But now it?s also about ?why?, not just about ?when? since the union lasted as long as it did.

In the words of Jennifer, as she was quoted in 2002 ? ?Everybody always asks if we?re happy. Give me a break. We?re married two years. In Hollywood years, that?s forever.? Cut to 2005 and the quote becomes a little more realistic. ?We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate,? and ?This decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration.? All this after a gala wedding venue overlooking the Pacific waves with a gospel choir and a million flowers to beautify the stinking affair.

Friends? superstar Jennifer sure has learnt a lesson or two in friendship when it comes to quoting in a joint statement with her bye-bye husband ? ?We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another. We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months.? Nobody is bothered about who the villain of the piece really is, but there were reports of 41-year-old Brad wanting to father a child with Jennifer, 35, and the latter being completely against starting a family (she?d rather remain friends), which could also be the farce reason that snapped it all.

And what about the Bruce Willis-Demi Moore union that went on to defy more than just the law of Hollyweird gravity as it hit familiar ground after 11 long years? Were they out of their minds lasting as long as they did, or was it the law of averages doing the tumble-toss thing?

Whatever it was, the audience is finally tiring of watching a big bad moon reappearing at the backdrop of a celebrity couple that may be facing the altar for the umpteenth time ? yet resembling a pair of pigeons that?s discovered real love at last; looking so theatrically besotted and so remarkably stupid. Isn?t it time these guys stopped making such a puppy show of their union? Some were married for as long as two days and some call it a historic tenure when the circus has lasted all of five years. Why don?t they set a mandatory five-year marriage term or at least a two-year sortie wrap-up, if the number five sounds a little too far-fetched in Hollywood? A question that often does the rounds is what leads these eggheads to marry all the time when they can actually do the world one big favour by concentrating on their respective jobs.

Coming to jobs, one celebrity clinger recently lost his job while managing his ex-wife?s upmarket restaurant. He, too, had preferred to stay on friendly terms with his ex-beau, but what he got on his plate was firm betrayal. So, he decided to serve a real hot cookie by suing marriage machine Jennifer Lopez to whom he was married for nearly a year.

A waiter by profession, Ojani Noa was hired by Jennifer as manager for her Madres restaurant in Pasadena, California. And this was in 2002, long after the couple had ended their quickie back in 1998. Ojani ultimately sued Jennifer for evident breach of contract as he was fired for no reason after being on the job for six months. And what prompted him to take action was the ?vocal guarantee? by JLo that he would not be discharged ?without cause or reason?. Ojani tried getting in touch with the singer a number of times but this Jennifer just wouldn?t take or return his calls. The two had remained on ?cordial terms? after their split. And now it calls for an un-cordial mudslinger of a case that will be cracked under the hammer.

ow, let us look at some other celebrity hook-ups, which can only be termed ?quickies? for their remarkably short life span. Wild child Drew Barrymore (Charlie?s Angels) made her quickie last for little under a month when she decided to call it a marriage with bar owner Jeremy Thomas. The girl sure went on to learn from the experience, for her next union bettered her previous one by four months too many. Her marriage to Canadian comedian Tom Green lasted five whole months and as of now, she?s a confirmed bisexual who?s doesn?t mind side-on romantic moments with males like Fabriozo Morretti (Strokes? drummer).

Nicolas Cage and Lisa-Marie Presley were married for four months before they split amicably, but it wasn?t until a year and half that their divorce came through.

Ex-Baywatch beau Carmen Electra and basketball star Dennis ?Worm? Rodman?s wedding lasted five months. But there?s a twist to their ceremony where Dennis was said to be heavily intoxicated and not realising what was going on. He went on to state that it was either fraud or maybe he was of unsound mind, but the latter sounded hilarious and more believable of the two. People believed him. Was Dennis doing a stupid turnaround or was he actually a victim of fraud is another thing, but the liaison lasted for nine days before he sought its annulment.

Early last year, singer Britney Spears annulled her wedding with childhood sweetheart Jason Alexander on its third day! According to Britney, she didn?t fully understand what she was getting into, holding the spur-of-the-moment syndrome responsible for her stupid act. Whereas Alexander turned out to be the bigger moron with his quote, ?It was just crazy, man. And we were just looking at each other and said, ?Let?s do something wild and crazy. Let?s get married, just for the hell of it?.?

Hell-tripping celebrities like Motley Crue (reunited) drummer, Drew Barrymore, Tommy Lee and megastar Pamela Anderson hit the road to shame as a married couple by making their private sex tape a worldwide bedroom item, though the video itself is said to be insipid and downright disgusting. The two are leading separate lives, but are shameless enough to stare right into the eye of the mighty lens with amnesiac conviction. What about their children who will at some point in their lives be subject to the monstrosity of their parents? perversions?

Oh, we forget these are stars that we?re talking of. Reckless stars who are motivating enough to make such hideous episodes look so darn fashionable. Children? Ha, they?ll grow up on Hollywood Boulevard,anyway. As for Brad and Jennifer ? a brand new honeymoon with even hotter prospects is now on the making. Watch this space!