Can’t there be some global rule where you can just not use a title of a classic? You can make a Godmother but not call your film Godfather. Sorry Jag Mundhra, but Apartment for us means the riotous 1960 Billy Wilder comedy and if at all, the passionate 1996 French film L’appartement, starring Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci.

If the title is a bit misleading, so is Mundhra himself, credited as the film’s writer-editor-director. Which Jag Mundhra is this? The man who made thought-provoking films like Bawandar, Provoked and Shoot on Sight? Or the man who made soft porn like Vishkanya, Monsoon and Private Moments? Well, the cast is bit of a giveaway… ain’t it? And if you are still having doubts, Rohit Roy, our leading man, announces in the guise of an advertising honcho early in the film: “Nothing sells like sex… not even Shah Rukh Khan.”

Fashion TV might have covered them up but there are lingerie shows galore in Apartment. Sadly, there’s not much of a choice in terms of models. But Tanushree Dutta and Neetu Chandra have used up most of the innerwear budget of the film, which seems quite, er, substantial compared to the rest of the production values of the movie.

Also, Shekhar Kapur, who tweets incessantly about water conservation even though his Paani is nowhere in sight, might want to take a look at Apartment. There’s rain, there’s shower, there’s reservoir… Mundhra’s age-old ploy of showing off his women. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s even a woman who spills champagne on herself and says: “Look what you did, you just made me wet!”

That’s really the problem with Apartment... the constant dive into B-movie terrain. It’s a decent premise about a schizophrenic woman (Neetu) who makes life hell for a live-in couple (Rohit and Tanushree) and even their shayar neighbour (Anupam Kher). But you can see that the plot is just an excuse to ‘flesh’ the movie out. Every second scene of the 110-minute film.

Behind all the shrieks and scares, there is an attempt to address the issue of contemporary relationships and how trust is an absolute rarity in today’s times. Mundhra’s solution? Cats and dogs! “If you want a faithful companion, get a dog,” says a woman. “I only love my cat, there are no ego hassles,” says a man.

Given the context, the cast is not that bad. And no, we don’t mean as lingerie models. Neetu is creepy enough while Rohit and Tanushree don’t go overboard too often. Kher, expectedly, is the best of the lot.

Mundhra should do well to decide what kind of movie he really wants to make next. A t2 tip — he should make a film on the IPL Nights; sex ka sex, society ka society.