CHARLIE HUNNAM AS CHRISTIAN GREY

WHO’S THAT Guy?

Born on April 10, 1980 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England.

Currently lives in the US and divides time between London and LA.

Was recently seen on the big screen as Raleigh Becket in Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific Rim.

Most famous TV role was of the love-smitten Nathan Maloney in Queer as Folk.

Also known for his portrayal of Jackson “Jax” Teller in TV series Sons of Anarchy.

Likes painting, photography, making music, cooking and spending time with friends.

An Eminem fan and likes Wu Tang Clan.

Is fond of chocolate milk, snowballs, HP sauce, toasted teacakes and Birds Eye Potato Waffles.

why he will make a good christian...

Is used to playing a psycho. He did it in Cold Mountain and in Children of Men. So it won’t be, er, hard for him to get into the skin of a domineering, BDSM-loving guy.

We’ve seen it in Pacific Rim and we’ve seen it in Sons of Anarchy, so we can tell that he has a body to die for. Sadly, Christian spends most of his time wearing a shirt while having sex.

... and why he won’t

Christian Grey is supposed to be beautiful, as in angelically beautiful! Charlie Hunnam may be ruggedly good-looking, NOT angelic.

Christian is supposed to be vulnerable beneath the masochistic, fetishist exterior. Hunnam has nothing remotely vulnerable about him. At least we haven’t seen a hint of softness in any of his recent screen outings.

what he will have to do

Have sex almost all the time, many times a day, in many different places.

Spank a girl till her cheeks turn pink, and we are not talking about the face here. Then rub arnica cream on girl’s smarting bottom.

Use things like floggers and even a belt to hit a girl for pleasure.

Mouth corny lines like “I’d like to bite that lip” and “I don’t make love. I f***, hard”.

Take pleasure in tying up a woman with various kinds of things, whether it is grey silken ties or wrist cuffs.

Make overtly sexual advances in all sorts of public places from elevators to posh clubs.

DAKOTA JOHNSON AS ANASTASIA STEELE

WHO’S THAT GIRL?

Born Dakota Mayi Johnson, this 23-year-old has super genes — her parents are actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith.

Dakota made her acting debut in the 1999 film Crazy in Alabama where she and half-sister Stella Banderas played daughters to real-life mom Melanie Griffith. The film was directed by her step-dad Antonio Banderas.

Her first important screen outing was in The Social Network (2010) as Justin Timberlake’s one-night stand. The producers of that film — Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti — are also the producers of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Her other notable films include The Five Year Engagement and 21 Jump Street.

She’s the body for Mango’s denim line.

why she will make a good ana

In the book, Anastasia describes herself as “a pale, brown-haired young woman with blue eyes too big for her face”. Dakota is blonde and has blue eyes. Ana is petite and at 5’7”, so is Dakota. Ana biting her lips turns Christian on — Dakota’s scarlet lips more than fit the bill.

Dakota is 23, close to Anastasia’s age of 21 in the first book.

The intense scenes of erotic sex and BDSM mean that only a newcomer could have been cast in the role. Though Dakota made her debut more than a decade ago, her screen appearances have been few and far between.

Ana is a blend of childlike heroine and erotic turn-on, something that Dakota can slip into with ease.

what she will have to do

Have sex everywhere — writing table to elevator, back of the car to boardroom!

Play ‘Submissive’ to his ‘Dominant’ and prepare to be flogged and spanked hard on her butt. “He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking around and around with his flat palm. And then his hand is no longer there … and he hits me — hard.”

Deal with a lover who likes to stick silver balls into the naughtiest of places. “He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. They make me needy, needy for sex.”

Be prepared for a riding crop and wrist cuffs. “At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling.”

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Written by British author E.L. James, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy is the publishing phenomenon of our times. The erotic romance traces the sexual relationship between business magnate Christian Grey and fresh graduate Anastasia Steele.

The books contain explicit sexual themes and practices like bondage, dominance and submission, and sadism/masochism.

Fifty Shades of Grey has topped bestseller lists around the world and is the fastest-selling paperback of all time, even surpassing the Harry Potter series.

The Fifty Shades trilogy has sold more than 70 million copies worldwide and the book rights have been sold in 37 countries.

The film will be captained by newbie director Sam Taylor-Johnson and the tentative release date is August 1, 2014.

Is Dakota the right choice? Is Charlie the right choice? Tell t2@abp.in