Ten minutes into Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai is a capsule of cameos by some of the top names in Bollywood. From director Sajid Khan who rues the fact that a newbie superstar Desh (Ruslaan Mumtaz) has kept him waiting for hours outside the make-up van (“Maine Shah Rukh aur Akshay ke liye bhi itna wait nahin kiya,” he laments) to sister Farah who regrets signing on the star for her film (“I miss you Shah Rukh,” she cries) to Priyanka Chopra who confesses teary-eyed that she is “unfortunately just good friends” with Desh to Akshay Kumar who is forced to admit that the rookie has a better bod and charges a higher fee (“Saala steroids leta hai,” he screams).

If you walk in expecting some paisa-vasool fare, this bit of unadulterated fun in true Bolly-style would be it. But these two minutes aren’t enough to tide over the rest of the 138 minutes of this often banal, largely agonising Riteish Deshmukh-Jacqueline Fernandez human-alien love story.

From Hollywood to Bollywood, from E.T. to Jadoo, the bonding between earthlings and extra terrestrials has always made for watchable and successful cinema. So we have born loser Rajesh (Riteish), a self-confessed virgin and the third assistant director to Farah Khan (yes, she plays an exaggerated version of herself) who has been ignored by women all his life. So has his over-sexed buddy Kaushal (Vishal Malhotra) who can’t do much better than watch reruns of porn flicks like ‘The Return of the Pink Pussycat’!

After being rejected for the umpteenth time — on this occasion by a colleague who also happens to be superstar Desh’s sister — Rajesh has Tara (Jacqueline), an alien from Venus literally landing on his lap in a spaceship! Reason? She is on earth to discover love. Bewildered at first, Rajesh helps Tara court Desh, with the film inching towards a typical Bolly formulaic finish.

To be fair, debutant director Milap Zaveri — also the man behind the story, screenplay and dialogues of JKSAH — manages a breezy first half. The playful banter between Riteish and Vishal, the delightful one-liners from Satish Shah, Farah Khan’s rip-roaring asides (mostly about her real-life tiff with SRK) and the numerous references to the Bollywood we all love — from the Baazigar pitstop to SRK’s ever-outstretched arms to the Sholay theme music — keep the laughs coming. But the soppy love story sets in post interval and it’s all-downhill from there. Repetitive scenes and too many songs make it worse. Even dumber is the climax where Amrita Rao in a gold space suit descends in yet another spaceship, claiming to be yet another alien. Yawn!

Riteish has built a career playing similar characters and he merely does a copy-paste job. Jacqueline is lovely to look at and does a shade better than her Aladin act while Ruslaan hardly makes an impression. Vishal has some of the best lines to which he does ample justice while Satish Shah is a riot as the Gujju dad with a strong libido.

For a film about an alien and spaceships, there is very little jaadoo in Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai. Alien Tara just knows how to bat her eyelids and pause people! We think a remote control could have done better.

Footnote: What made the JKSAH experience worse? Being the sole occupant at the 9.30 Friday morning show!