Ole, matador Madonna

The 56-year-old Material Girl gives a rat’s ass about what fashionistas have to say. After a cheeky walk (literally!) down the red carpet, Madonna relived her matador days from the 1994 video to the hit song Take A Bow, but this time for the track Living For Love (from her forthcoming album Rebel Heart). After being introduced as “our bi**h” by Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj, she appeared in a red ensemble with a removable jacket, which, needless to say, was removed at once. Then she lost herself in a sea of bull-horned male dancers, who leaped around their master in sexual frenzy. She made a dramatic exit by remaining suspended above her scantily-clad dancers.

He-diva takes revenge

The former lavatory cleaner made a clean sweep at the Grammy with four awards –– Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artiste, Best Pop Vocal Album. Sam Smith lost weight for the big night after being called “fat” and an “ugly motherf*****” by TV-radio man Howard Stern a couple of weeks ago. Carrying the four trophies, he told the press gathering: “I need to go to In-N-Out Burger because I’ve been having a lot of green juice recently.” But the killer speech came after the he-diva accepted the Record of the Year award: “I want to thank the man I fell in love with last year. Thank you so much for breaking my heart because I won this award.” Our man Sam, whom Taylor Swift said she is “obsessed with”, later confessed that “a boyfriend would be nice”.

20 and still going deep

Queen Bey made history by winning three sippy cups (Jay Z lingo) –– Best Surround Sound Album, Best R&B Song and Best R&B Performance, taking her past soul legend Aretha Franklin’s count of 18. With 20 Grammy wins to her credit, Beyonce is now only behind Alison Krauss, who has 27 wins. She kept her acceptance speech (for Best R&B Performance), well, deep: “I love ya’ll. I’d like to thank my beloved husband (Jay Z). I love you deep. My daughter who’s watching, Blue, I love you, and I’d like to say thank you to my Beyhive.”
And instead of Fifty Shades of Grey mood, she slipped into a see-through white coir robe to belt out the gospel standard Take My Hand, Precious Lord, which was a favourite of Martin Luther King Jr., who is the subject of the Oscar-nominated film Selma. Equally interesting was the introduction from gal pal Gwyneth Paltrow, who said Beyonce’s mother used to sing the hymn when Queen Bey was a tiny princess.

Piggyback win

Record an album with the man who shook Frank Sinatra’s hand and take home a Grammy. The formula worked yet again as Lady Gaga collected the Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album Grammy for her work with Tony Bennett on Cheek to Cheek. Though she didn’t appear in an oyster shell this time, her ample cleavage bursting out of a black sparkling gown found as much camera time as her vocal range. 

Beck gets Kanyed…  almost

Beck taking home the Album of the Year trophy was a disappointment... at least for Kanye West. After Purple Rain-singer Prince announced him winner, it took several seconds for the feeling to sink in among the people who have worked with Beck on Morning Phase. And then Kanye almost did what he is best at doing –– walking up to the stage to say, “you don’t deserve it”. Remember his cruel act when Taylor Swift was announced winner (over Beyonce) at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards?! If you don’t believe this, look at the expression on Beyonce and Jay Z’s face when Kanye almost Kanyed Beck. By the way, he did let it rip after the show: “I don’t even know what [Beck] said. I just know that the Grammys, if they want real artistes to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We aren’t going to play with them no more…. And Beck needs to respect artistry, he should have given his award to Beyonce.”

Bellhop happy

Dressed like a bellhop in white gloves (but yellow shoes!), Pharrell Williams cranked up the volume performing the 2014 ear-candy Happy, complete with a piano arrangement from Lang Lang and guitaring, courtesy film composer Hans Zimmer. But a not-so-happy message was also included: From time to time the backup dancers in hoodies raised their hands to the line “hands up, don’t shoot”, a reference to 2014’s protests in Ferguson. Though he rounded off the evening snapping up three trophies –– Best Urban Contemporary Album, Best Music Video and Best Pop Solo Performance — Williams managed to piss off some Taylor Swift fans after he was caught sporting a disapproving sideways stare at Swift who was perhaps trying to shake off her losing streak.

Shade-y joke

Stevie Wonder and Jamie Foxx’s joke didn’t go down well on Twitter. While Wonder has always worn shades because he is blind, Foxx decided to imitate Ray Charles by pulling out a pair of black glasses and trying to read the Record of the Year winner’s name that was printed on the card in Braille. This made Neil Patrick Harris take to Twitter: “Hmmm. Jamie Foxx reading braille next to Stevie Wonder. Not sure how to feel about that.”

RiRi minus flesh tones

You read that right, Rihanna remained all covered up on and off stage. She joined Kanye West and Paul McCartney to sing the first big hit of 2015: FourFiveSeconds.

What did you like best about Grammy this year?
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