Shilpa: Ha ha ha ha ha. Sarah Palin was a beauty queen in Amrika, though now she is 44 and in politics. (But the British called me beauty queen in English!) Hi Sarah, how are you?

Sarah: Ohhh, is this a prank call?

Shilpa: Oh, no, Sarah, relax! We Indians never joke with politicians, though they are mostly funny! We are very, very serious people and we touch the feet of politicians whenever we can. They touch the feet of godmen and I alone laugh at my jokes. Ha ha ha ha ha! See? Let me also assure you, Bigg Boss is a reality show and not a prank call. In India there are more people making reality shows now than prank calls. Ha ha ha ha ha!

But tell us, how did you become a running mate?

Sarah: I used to run five to 10 kms a day as a child and the results still show. That’s what made Sen. McCain choose me. I can give you other examples of things that Sen. McCain has done that have shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities, but I can’t remember them.

Shilpa: That’s all right. Who is this Mr Sen. McCain anyway? Tell me Sarah, what’s a hockey mom? We have cricket moms in India who appear in detergent ads along with their famous sons, but we don’t know what a hockey mom is…

Sarah: The difference between a hockey mom and a cricket mom, in my understanding, Shilpa, is lipstick!

Shilpa: So anyone who puts on lipstick will be a hockey mum?

Sarah: No, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it will still be a pig.

Shilpa: Oh really? In India… but tell us, do you see yourself in Bigg Boss again?

Sarah: Maybe in eight years?

Shilpa: Oh Goody, Goody, that’s not too far away! And anyway, I shall only be 25 then!

Sarah: Well, yes, that would be really nice of you, thank you, yeah!

Shilpa: Time to take a small break on Bigg Boss. Ha ha ha ha...

(After the break)

Shilpa: Welcome back after the break. Now Sarah, I have heard of your knowledge of geography. Can you name America’s neighbours?

Sarah: Afghanistan is the closest neighbour we have. And you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.

Shilpa: You know we have a lot in common, because from the roof of my house in Mumbai I can only see London! In my dreams, I can only see London! Even in a reality show, I can only think about London.

Sarah: Well, see, we’re right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.

Shilpa: Yes, London is the greatest country in the world. I pray to God day and night so that Hindi soon becomes the national language of London!

Now tell me Sarah, are you hot in bed?

Sarah: I accept the election results with great humility but I really believe that Americans are going to support this and we will support this.

Shilpa: I too had a close brush with geography once. They picturised a song called “Main aai hoon UP Bihar lootne!” It was very hot. Do you know about UP and Bihar?

Sarah: No, I probably don’t even know where Iraq is.

Shilpa: Do you think Richard Gere is a good kisser?

Sarah: Well, I’ve been so focused on state government, I haven’t really had the time to look at international affairs.

Shilpa: And a question that I have been dying to ask you: Is it true that men don’t make passes at women who wear glasses?

Sarah: Ask Mr Zardari, the President of... the President of.... I can’t remember...

Shilpa: Ok, our time is running out! It was lovely to have you on the show, Sarah! Best of luck in whatever you do. For the time being, let’s dance to my new song from the film Dostana. Slightly altered:

Shut up and bounce, Obama, Just keep bouncing baby, Just keep bouncing baby…

What would you say to Sarah Palin if you met her? Tell t2@abpmail.com