A couple of years ago I fell in love with a girl. I had never met her; we only talked over the phone or chatted online. When I expressed my feelings for her she suddenly severed all ties with me, for sometime. After that she started messaging me from different numbers and continues to do so. But she is unwilling to come forth and confess her feelings. There is no way I can contact her either. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Just wait for her messages or otherwise become friendly with someone at her mobile provider’s company and get down to meeting her. There is no other way son. Though what I would do is something different. I would just move on. This girl is a tease and they occupy too much of time and mental space and this is not just worth it, though you seem to be unemployed or perhaps working for the government so you just may have all the time in the world...

I am a 38-year-old married man living away from my family, in a different city. Recently, one of my friends — she stays in Amsterdam — came to stay with me for a night. In fact, we met after seven long years. Although our friendship has always been devoid of any amorous undertone, yet a glass or two of Scotch and a walk under the starry sky, took a toll on our senses and we ended up in bed. She is married to a Dutch guy, but now she wants to settle in India, with me. She is bombarding me with calls and e-mails. Please help.

Name and address withheld

So what’s a starry sky coupled with some harmless adultery between friends? Look son, get this right. If she can go to bed with you under a starry sky in Calcutta and that too with only two glasses of Scotch, can you imagine what she would do with someone in Paris? She might even go to bed with someone under a Ranchi sky. Look, drop this nonsense. I know of one friend who met a woman under similar circumstances but only with Old Monk rum and his life is ruined today. So go Dutch with her...she goes her way and you go yours...        

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2 pm to 6 pm, Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2 pm to 6 pm, Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 am to 6 pm, Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally,
PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 am to 6 pm, Mondays through Fridays)

Pronam

38/1, Beltala Road, Calcutta - 19
Senior Citizen’s Emergency
Co-ordination Control Room
Ph: 2419 0740