My wife found my pen drive. It contained porn videos featuring me. She wants a divorce and money. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
For starters, many congratulations. You’re the first porn star to write in to this column and I’m extremely grateful for that. Now that you too have written, we’ve completed every dreg of our society from physics teachers to bored wives to even religious heads not to mention irate principals of some very dingy girls schools and of course the venerable professions such as chartered accountants and doctors. Now son, you are at an interesting crossroad and my advice is let your wife do whatever she wishes but you must immediately sell your porn stuff to some responsible news channels. They’ll pay you and you may become a millionaire. If they could show N.D. Tiwari at his age, you’ll be a breath of fresh air. So go for it and do not lose heart.
My girlfriend has many close male friends. She gets angry when I protest. Help.
Name and address withheld
Nothing except prepare for a life of misery and suspicion because this is not going to stop. My advice to you would be to get rid of this girl. There is no point eating a dish that everyone is looking at because it will either run out or will get predictable. So get out of this so-called love thinggie as soon as you can and get someone who actually loves you and does not want to run away from, it might just make you feel that much more secure. If all else fails, marry her and keep her in captive with the blessings of the Taliban.
I asked a girl out but she refused me. Now she keeps asking what I can do for her love. What does this mean?
Name and address withheld
This is a trick question. She’s a rogue. I deal with such women on the hour, every hour. This is their way of stringing you along. She must be going out with every Johnny in the locality but will refuse you only to play you along and you stupidly thinking she loves you will fall for it. Call her bluff. Tell her you don’t love her but just want her for reasons of lust. And then see how she reacts. She’ll finally go out with you and we shall all be eternally happy thereafter!
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071;
www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
Pronam
38/1, Beltala Road,Calcutta - 19
Senior Citizen’s Emergency
Co-ordination Control Room
Ph: 2419 0740
