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Regular-article-logo Wednesday, 25 June 2025

Survival Strategies

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Suhel Seth Has An Unconventional Take On Personal Problems — And Their Solutions Published 02.12.12, 12:00 AM

I am 16 years old and due to appear for my board examinations. My parents are wonderful people. I recently found out that I am an adopted child. A relative broke the news. My parents don’t know yet that I know the truth. I don’t have the courage to confront them and can’t concentrate on a thing. My studies are suffering. I am not ungrateful but I can’t believe that the ones I knew were my mom and dad all my life didn’t give birth to me. What do I do?

Name and address withheld

Do nothing. And for a change be grateful. Don’t hurt them...this is not some silly Hindi film where you must suddenly burst into a room with tears drenching your ugly make-up. Just carry on with your life and let them be content too. There are too many problems this world faces and we certainly don’t want another in your reasonably average life. I would carry on and start studying again....

My best friend of 17 years, we went to kindergarten together, has suddenly started making romantic advances towards me. I love him but I am not romantically inclined. It’s worse because he has taken it for granted that I couldn’t possibly want to be with any other man. I fear the day I tell him that he has got a wrong idea, he would be heartbroken. More importantly, though it might sound like a cliché, I do not want to lose the friendship. How do I tackle the situation?

Name and address withheld

Look child, one thing has to give way. Either you sleep with him or have nightmares about losing him. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You are not the TMC. So here’s my suggestion: carry on with life and don’t be rude or gruff. On a balmy day, sit him down and tell him you would like to be just friends but you don’t fancy him as a lover. And you will see how quickly he will disappear: that part is inevitable. All men are rogues in this area.       

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Fridays)

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