I am a 21-year-old woman. My family has never allowed me to live my life on my own terms. They have dictated my every move. Now my boyfriend behaves in the same way. He is extremely possessive and keeps a constant tab on my activities. He questions me all the time even though he is in a different city. My family supports him too. I am tired of proving myself to people. What should I do to earn everyone’s trust?
Name and address withheld
Do nothing. If you stop being a rebel without a cause in your little head, things might work out for you. The problem with you is you believe the whole world revolves around you: but then you are neither Anna Hazare nor Baba Ramdev. So here’s my suggestion: just chill and keep going about your life like any 21-year-old. This is the age to experiment with rock and roll and not worry about living up to people’s expectations. As for that lout of a boyfriend: he is just being like any silly possessive boyfriend: darling they don’t make them like us any more: we were never possessive nor possessed. We carried on without a care in the world. The forest was always too large for us to pluck another fruit but sadly times have changed and this even I cannot help!
I am a 24-year-old man. I’m in love with one of my tuition students. I know that she is already in a relationship but I can’t forget her. Whenever I see her in my class I think about her for the rest of the day. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
Look son, I am not worried about you at all: all tuition teachers seem to be womanizers and paedophiles or at least that’s the sense I get in this column. What I am truly worried about is the fact that your other students must be suffering while you conjure up erotic-love scenes in your head: this is what worries me no end. My suggestion is tell the girl and see if she gives up that boyfriend of hers. If she doesn’t then you give up tuition with her. Simple.
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous
(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
