Now this list is going to be truly AWESOME. I say this with humility, not to draw attention to myself, since everything that can be, is AWESOME. Your caller tune is AWESOME. I found the remote! AWESOME. Parking space in front of my office is truly AWESOME. Can you zip that file and transfer it to me? AWESOME. How is the toast? AWESOME.

No one has yet called the Biswa Bangla globe that glares green and blue from the Science City roundabout AWESOME, which is a comfort. ARGUABLY, it is scarier than the T. Rex statue that guards the entrance of Science City. The dinosaur looks CUTE in comparison. You can also say SWEEEET.

You find this ANGSTY? Am I? Are you? I am confused about the generic YOU and I. I think YOU and I are the same. YOU and I are interchangeable syntactically. Though YOU and I together can be problematic. So for the sake of convenience, for the time being, let us make it we. Our sense of self in this DAY AND AGE of semantic torpor is unformed, fluid, indefinite. That is why we click selfies all the time, to reassure ourselves that I am.

But we are digressing. BASICALLY, here we are CURATING a list that needs to be dropped. You don't mind the paradox, but the word CURATE? There YOU go again. Everything can be CURATED now. A sneakers shop in Houston says it CURATES its merchandise, that is, the shoes; I CURATE shoestrings, children CURATE erasers, Barbies, sometimes iPads, men CURATE smelly feet, stubble, empty beer bottles, memories of girlfriends, PJs, iPads. I would like to CURATE my wardrobe in fifty shades of grey.

But I am left to CURATE leftover food every night.

The chief minister of Bengal CURATES Rabindrasangeet, which she is yet to paint white and blue. Cabbies have already been CURATED; they and their families number 12 lakh.

To think that once curators only found work in museums.

DUH! Which is not the same as DUDE!

ANYWAYS, I think I will CURATE an exhibition of empty Chowman containers. It will make me EDGY and ECLECTIC, or ECLECTIC and EDGY, if you please - for there's a subtle difference - if not downright EPIC. EPIC is the new AWESOME. It is as universal, but slightly less tarnished. EPIC is the Rs 14 lakh self-striped suit, which was very shiny too.

Not to mention ICONIC.

What exactly is not ICONIC around us?

The fairy atop Victoria Memorial was once thought of as ICONIC, in being a memorial sculpture, but good that she belongs to another dimension of space and time, for now everything that lies below is also ICONIC. It would give her a serious inferiority complex. The flyover that arches over AJC Bose Road must be on its way to becoming ICONIC; Feluda is ICONIC, Byomkesh is ICONIC, Kakababu is ICONIC, anything that has to do with Ray is ICONIC, certainly everything to do with Tagore, the Book Fair is ICONIC, the Metro rail is ICONIC, the boat ride on the Ganga is ICONIC, the new Nokia is already ICONIC, everything Apple does is i-CONIC, even before it is there. Rosogolla has always been ICONIC. The world is flat.

Not too far away, Hamro Momo on Elgin Road sells - what else - ICONIC momos. Last night, you probably had the ICONIC Nizam's roll, and even as you read this, you are probably biting into an ICONIC Marie biscuit.

"ICONIC" take it anymore.

I can only take in more food, which simple act makes me a FOODIE. I have lunch and post the picture on Facebook, therefore I am a FOODIE.

I think I am partly ICONIC and partly FOODIE.

HAVING SAID THAT, I FEEL YOUR PAIN. You feel an irresistible urge to put your picture up on FB. BUT BELIEVE YOU ME, it is a form of addiction and LIKE with all addictions, the craving has a source in your mind, it is a want in you, within you, and YOU and I have got mixed up again. IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, HOPEFULLY, the ISSUES WILL BE RESOLVED one day. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

LITERALLY.

LIKE one day, people will not write LOL. People will just laugh? LIKE, before a LIVE AUDIENCE? You think I am demented? I am not, I am a MAVERICK. MAKE NO MISTAKE.

MY PLATE IS FULL. My plate is full of biryani from Arsalan. Biryani and cheese chicken malai kebab. I need to OFFLOAD but I can't, while Bong women ROCK the sari, man, and the room is otherwise full of METROSEXUALS. I need to OFFLOAD things off my chest too. Can I OFFLOAD, VENTILATE, VERBALISE all this stuff that has been growing inside me right here? Or over a cup of coffee? It may enable me to PRIORITISE my life, REVISIT my past and set the COORDINATES for my future SCENARIO?

READ MY LIPS. READ MY LIPS. SIMPLY PUT, it means: "SHOW ME THE MONEY".

SURELY IF WE CAN SEND A MAN TO MOON we can do this? SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD? This way, we can take things TO THE NEXT LEVEL. We need to THINK OUT OF THE BOX. We need CREATIVE SOLUTIONS to our problems that are just plain terrible and won't go away.

THAT SAID, I must conclude by saying that AT THE END OF THE DAY true WELLNESS springs from the bottom of the heart and the Herba industry.

WHATEVER!

Which word/words would you like to add to the list? Tell ttmetro@abpmail.com