Men in North Korea have picked up the scissors. They are lopping off their shoulder-length hair, cropping them so close that the skin shows. They are aiming for the authentic socialist hairstyle for men in the 21st century ? short, cut at the back and sides ? now endorsed by the eccentric dictator, Kim Jong-Il, who has also allowed the clippers to run amok over his Sai Baba-esque mop. After all, he has to lead by example.

The state-controlled Pyongyang television has been airing a series called Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle since October. Those who refuse to conform to the hair code are identified and ridiculed on it.

The allegations against long hair range from its being unhygienic to its being favoured by that old enemy, the bourgeoisie. There is also a medical reason given out ? that the hair follicles are strangulating the socialist brain by sucking oxygen from the nerves in the head! The doctors would have done better to pick on lice as a threat to the communist brain.

The argument, in a nutshell, is that short hair is needed for socialism to thrive. For the youth, the limit is 2 centimetres; the bald get 7 cm to cover the barren patches. Comrades of the fair sex, though, may continue with their long tresses. Presumably, they provide enough food (oil?) for their hair, so that no nutrition gets sucked out of their brains.

The short...

Apart from hair fetishists the world over and the totalitarian regime in North Korea, this step will probably not capture the imagination of the masses. But which dictator has ever cared for popular consensus? According to Nodong Sinmun (Worker?s Newspaper), the reclusive North Korean dictatorship is fighting a guerrilla war against the possible incursion of capitalism in the sphere of personal appearance through this new ?hair and wear? regime. And why does it feel the need to do so? Because the West is supposed to be this evil monster, imitating which will lead the country to ruin. Strangely, along with long hair, untidy shoes have been identified as the epitome of Occidental culture.

Kim Jong-Il is not the only leader to be fixated with short hair. There were St Paul (who once said that ?long hair was a shame unto a man?), Alexander the great, Peter the Great and more recently, Park Chung-Hee, the South Korean dictator of the Seventies. In the 11th century, the pope decreed the excommunication of all those with long hair and warned that they would not be prayed for after their death.

...and long of it

Thus, the North Koreans can take heart from the fact that though their leader is not a great hero with the Yankees or with their Asian neighbours, he has something in common with such an illustrious line-up of famous leaders.

People with long hair have been persecuted in many societies and cultures. Christian zealots, mighty conquerors, atheist socialist leaders ? every one, at some point of time, has railed against those with unruly mops. Recently, the football federation in Iran banned players with long hair, saying that it violated Islamic codes.

Thus although in the 21st century, long hair is considered very fashionable, the epitome of style and creativity, it is also equated with lack of discipline, and capitalism. But since capitalism, creativity, and indiscipline are not tolerated in Stalinist North Korea, long hair is definitely a liability in that country.

So, commanded by the supreme leader and hounded by the government media, the North Korean males are lining up for their sessions with the clipper twice a month.