Deadly sin

I had a Muslim friend who had a lot going for him. He had a high intelligence quotient, wrote well and his writings were published in many national journals. He also had a few books to his credit. He was cultured. I met some top Urdu poets at his house, including Ali Sardar Jafri and Sahir Ludhianvi. Above all, he did more for the uplift of his community than did any other Muslim of his time. Many schools and colleges of Mumbai and Aurangabad owe their existence to him. He had political connections, won elections, and was minister in the Maharashtra government for many years. Then he won his way to Parliament and was expected to be made minister of cabinet by Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. His only problem was his short temper. He was prone to having unexpected fits of rage. Although he invariably apologized for losing his temper, the damage was done. Indira Gandhi got to know about it and never made him a minister. He paid a heavy price for his weakness.

Anger is listed second among the deadly sins: kaam (lust), krodh (anger), lobh (greed), moh (attachment) ahankar (arrogance), and so on. But we do not know where krodh or gussa comes from, nor what we can do to rid ourselves of it.

Why are some people ill-tempered while others manage to remain cool despite provocation? Is bad temper in our genes? Is it due to bad health? Or do circumstances make people lose their cool?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. But I have witnessed anger of different grades, from the extreme to the mild. When living in Bombay, I periodically saw a man, who lived across the road at the same level, going berserk at least once a month. He would go from one end of the room to the other shouting abuses. His wife sat with her head between her arms and with their two terrified children clinging to her. The insane fit lasted for about 15 minutes, ending in the man banging his head against the wall repeatedly till he drew blood. Then he cooled down and laid himself on the floor for a while before finally sitting down to dinner.

There are others who are sour-tempered most of the time but do not explode in anger. They make unpleasant company. Most of them happen to be well-off. William Curtis rightly remarked: “Anger is an expensive luxury in which only men of a certain income can indulge.”

Highest peak

There are a few people who, by their achievements, have ensured that their names will be mentioned in books on the history of India. One of them is Captain M.S. Kohli, who led the team of Indian mountaineers in 1965 that scaled the world’s highest peak, Mt Everest. India became the fourth country to do so.

Captain Kohli was duly honoured by our presidents, prime ministers and other celebrities. He deserves more. I repeat what I wrote earlier: “Captain Kohli has a few things in common with our prime minister. They share the same name — Manmohan Singh Kohli. They come from the same region of northwestern Punjab, now in Pakistan. They are roughly of the same age. And in their own fields, they scaled the highest peaks of achievement.”

For comedians

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. Here are a few paraprosdokian sentences:

I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. I have a work station.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it surely makes misery easier to live with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

(Contributed by Vipin Buckshey, New Delhi)