Guest Column Nadia Moghbelpour

Motherhood is an aspiration that every woman grows with. It is a state of joy, happiness, fear, anxiety and achievement.

At times, mothers are overjoyed by their kids’performance and yet at another time, we are ashamed of and surprised at their sudden unpleasant behaviour. Motherhood is accompanied by a host of challenges on a day-to-day basis.

However, one can overcome them by a moment of reflection and virtue of eagerness and efforts. Of course, a lot of tact and wisdom is needed. Motherhood is another word for sacrificial attitude. Let us reflect on some of the challenges of motherhood faced by mothers at large in today’s time and solutions to them.

Challenge of being a role model: We are teaching our children how we want them to behave in different as well as similar situations. Therefore, modelling the right behaviour is the key. Mothers can turn moments of frustration into positive lessons of life. Children always look for a role model to follow them for every act of theirs. But are we mothers ready to face this challenge? To be a role model, one needs to sacrifice a lot, give up her inclinations to unpleasant behaviour and habits and adopt positive ones.

All virtues have to be practised first by mothers, only then can we expect children to master them. If parents force a child to say “sorry”, it could delay the child’s natural acceptance of apologising. We should apologise to our child if we do a mistake, in order to model the behaviour we are trying to encourage. While working with the child, if you are stuck on how to teach her something, step away. Return to lesson when you are ready to try again. Remember, a role model should be the embodiment of all virtues.

We want our kids to believe in what we tell them. So, we should avoid making false promises. You have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out. This way, the challenge can be overcome by minding one’s own behaviour and setting an example.

Mothers and the advancement of technology: In today’s digitised world, the biggest challenge for mothers is of coping with technological knowledge. It has been observed that today’s generation is very fast in adapting themselves to technological innovations. You name it and they already know it. Kids as young as five years know what a computer is, how to surf the Internet, make friends on social networking sites and so on. They just snatch the mobile from you and start playing games and sending messages.

Most mothers have already surrendered to the smartness of their children and show their inability of operating such devices. Initially, it is fun to see them operating advanced technology. But gradually, it becomes a concern and worry as mothers notice their children getting addicted to these new-age tools. Such means if not appropriately used, are going to not only damage the minds of children, but also lead to irreversible consequences. How many frustrated children have given up their lives after being a regular browser of unwanted materials on the Internet! Mothers have to be watchful and well acquainted with the use and abuse of technology.

Challenges of social media: Many mothers constantly watch television and love to be updated with the latest in movies and entertaining channels. They are unaware that the little eyes are watching them too. What we watch on the television and the magazines and books we read have a great impact on our children.

It is yet another challenge to first control as mothers not to view socially unacceptable scenes on TV and be watchful of our kids’interest in such programmes. TV, Internet, newspapers, magazines and other social media directly influence children’s character and language. Mothers have to see that children are protected from the evils of such media.

Mothers and right communication: When mothers are happy and joyful, proud of their own achievements or are angry and frustrated for lack of co-operation and support, they behave differently and that is when mothers’communication with the kids gets affected. This, at one time, can boost the morale of children, while at another time, can cause the most enduring damage to their personality.

Words said once cannot be taken back. Of course, we should be real and passionate with the kids. But at the same time, one should be very clear in their talks and instructions.

Children like to be given age-related tasks; they would do it to the best of their abilities provided we communicate clearly with them.

If we speak to them often, they would also speak to us, share their experiences, feelings, emotions and challenges. Communicative language used by mothers depends on the age and maturity of children. Appropriate communication would foster the mother-child relationship.

Children, who have been communicating with their mothers in early years of their lives, would be more comfortable to share with their parents their anxieties during the adolescent period. So, mothers should develop their abilities to communicate right and at the proper time with their children in order to be able to justify their motherhood.

Challenges of working mothers: Mothers are confused as to whether they should pursue their careers or give up their ambitions after entering the threshold of motherhood.

It is a great challenge for most working mothers to strike a proper balance between their responsibilities as mother and those on their jobs. Many new mothers leave their children either with caregivers at home or enrol them at crèches and play schools. They even prefer day boarding schools so that their children would not look for their mothers the whole day.

These children, in due course of time, lose their tender emotions for motherly figure and develop a sense of indifference towards their family. As a result, when they grow into adults, they would not be able to adjust with many situations demanding emotional balance and peace of mind.

Therefore, here the question of sacrifice arises for a mother. Child or job? Many mothers prefer giving up their personal ambitions and stay back at home to take care of the young ones. But, they are going to get the fruits of their sacrifice in future.