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Birth anniversary

Billions of blistering blue barnacles: Happy birthday Tintin!

Comedian and Tintin fan, Vikram Poddar, looks back on growing up with the stories, finds modern Haddockisms and says thank you, Hergé

Vikram Poddar | Published 11.01.23, 05:51 PM
Tintin celebrated his 94th birthday on January 10, 2022

Tintin celebrated his 94th birthday on January 10, 2022

Tintin/Facebook

The first time I came across Tintin was while watching a cartoon version of the book Explorers on the Moon at a friend’s house on one of those VHS tapes in a world long before the Internet, social media and streaming.

But my interest was truly piqued when my dad gifted me a three-book omnibus comprising Tintin in America, Cigars of the Pharaoh and its sequel The Blue Lotus. The three books touched upon many different countries, cultures, historic events and I discovered things like the cowboy-Indian wars (American Indian Wars), Al Capone, the Japanese invasion and hegemony of China and its resignation from the League of Nations, and even attempted to speak the language of elephants.

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Tintin, the lone wolf?

Tintin is a young reporter who is always getting in some trouble while investigating some villain and somehow manages to get out of it as well. His trusted and equally famous sidekick is his dog, Snowy. Perhaps one of the more interesting aspects of Tintin is he is never shown to have any other family or friends of sorts. They seem to get discovered entirely from the plot of the stories. The bumbling twins Thompson and Thomson (Thomspon with a p!) frequently alternate between friends and bumbling adversaries and then there is the legendary opera singer Castafiore whose singing could shatter all the gas displays in Victoria museum.

Haddockism

Perhaps the most legendary break-out character from the series would be the Belgian version of Hindustani Bhau, the mercurial, salty and downright every-second-fufaji-at-an-Indian-wedding Captain Haddock! While “Billions of blistering blue barnacles” has been his catchphrase, it is the colourful Haddockisms that have thrilled and entertained fans over the years. Some choice ones over the years — “Antediluvian bulldozer!”, “Addle-pated lumps of anthracite!”, “Arabian nightmare!”, “Bald-headed budgerigar!”, “Baby-snatchers!”, “Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon!,” “Blue blistering bell-bottomed balderdash!”, “Certified diplodocuses!”, “Dunderheaded coconuts!”, “Balkan beetle”, “Bath-tub admiral!”, “Billions of blue blistering boiled and barbecued barnacles!”.

In a Twitter thread, I came up with a few of my own that social media-user Captain Haddock would use —

  • "Billions of blistering blue Zuckerbergs!"
  • "Instagram Influencers!"
  • "Tiktok Terrorists!"
  • "Tide Pod Eaters!"
  • "Snapchat Streakers!"
  • "Pronoun Pariahs!"
  • "Clickbait Cannibals!"
  • "New York Times Readers!"
  • "D&I Consultants!"
  • "ESG Fund Managers!"

One of course cannot forget Professor Calculus and his ingenious inventions, the much-harried South Bombay butler Nestor, and frequent antagonists like Alan the smuggler and (warning: spoiler for The Blue Lotus) the director who films don’t trust, Rastapopulous.

Tough lessons

'Tintin in the Congo' was criticised for its depiction of Africans

'Tintin in the Congo' was criticised for its depiction of Africans

The Tintin series has had its fair share of controversies as well with a lot of criticism about the stereotypical depiction of Africans in Tintin in the Congo. It is said though that Hergé was rather remorseful when made aware of this fact and spent a fair amount of time trying to remedy this.

The character Chang who first appears in The Blue Lotus and then becomes a very good friend has an interesting sequence where he is saved from drowning by Tintin and asks why a white man saved him as he felt all white people were bad like the ones who hurt his family. There is also a hilarious yet beautiful monologue by Tintin where he explains the ridiculous stereotypes that the West believes about Chinese people and vice-versa. He also saves another Chinese rickshaw boy from being beaten up by a white man in Shanghai.

As a kid, this was an early exposure to racism for me and I remember the white man’s dialogue, “Dirty little China-man! To barge into a white man!” But perhaps Indian arranged marriages are yet to borrow a page of two from Tintin.

Thank you, Hergé

A statue of Hergé with his cat and the figurines of Tintin and Snowy near The Hergé Museum in Brussels

A statue of Hergé with his cat and the figurines of Tintin and Snowy near The Hergé Museum in Brussels

Wikimedia Commons

As we wish Tintin a happy birthday, I can only thank Hergé for the wonderful world he created for I have read each and every Tintin, including the rarely available Tintin in the Land of the Soviets. As the war rages on, perhaps many a brave Tintin will emerge covering the former Soviet territories fearlessly. Now unless you want Captain Haddock screaming in your DMs, I suggest you like, share and comment on this article you… Instagram doom scrollers!

The author is a Marwari investment banker turned corporate comedian. The views expressed in this article are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.

Last updated on 11.01.23, 05:53 PM
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