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What if these screen characters decided to tie the knot

We played matchmaker and try to figure out what would happen if these screen characters decided to tie the knot!

Arindam Chatterjee Published 27.11.21, 02:52 AM
Leslie Knope and the Dude

Leslie Knope and the Dude

Leslie Knope and the Dude

She is the ambitious, hard-working, earnest and optimistic one. He is the laid-back slacker, who hangs out at bowling alleys. And Leslie Knope (from the show Parks and Recreation) and the Dude (from the film The Big Lebowski) will surely crash and burn in this set-up! A typical day would start for the golden-hearted Leslie (deputy director of the Parks and Recreation department of the fictional city of Pawnee) at 5am as she would come up with ten thousand ideas for a project meeting, furiously jot down all details in her red planner and plan a surprise scavenger hunt filled with intricate details hidden across the city for a dear friend’s birthday. And she would happily finish it all before breakfast! Meanwhile, the Dude would wake up by 1pm, enjoy his White Russian and listen to some spaced-out chill music by lying down on his favourite rug. They’ll probably have a heated exchange when vandals desecrate the rug, like it happens with the rug in The Big Lebowski. A common ground would be bowling, but there too the fiercely competitive Leslie — as shown in the bowling episode from Parks... — would be miles ahead of the Dude!

Dewey Finn and Miss Halsey

Considering that both are teachers, it would seem that they would get along like a house on fire! Or maybe not! The rebellious music nerd/guitarist Dewey Finn (from the film School of Rock) would have regular face-offs with Cameron Diaz’s Miss Halsey (from Bad Teacher). As educators, they would surprise their students by letting them watch movies or listen to music as they nurse a hangover or a broken jaw. When Dewey would go all emo on Halsey and read out a few lines from a poem, she would come up with something like: “It’s not gonna happen buddy. Someone who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt for three days a week is not going anywhere!”

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Jesse and Zoe

What if Jesse Wallace (from the film Before Sunrise) and Zoe aka the Night Girl (from season two of Modern Love) got together in New York? Both love to walk and talk at night. Zoe though suffers from delayed sleep phase syndrome, and can only sleep through the day. Their love will be tested when they go to Paris for an imagined version of the film Before Sunset because those walks can turn a bit bumpy if Zoe feels sleepy in the afternoon!

Edward Scissorhands and Cruella

The visual resemblance is striking between the lead characters of the films Edward Scissorhands and Cruella. Now it remains to be seen whether they can stay together in the long run. What works for them is the yin-yang vibe — while Edward is the shy one, Cruella, with a glint in her eye, is the flashy go-getter with a killer instinct. “Darling I love trouble,” is her standout line to which Edward might offer, “I know a doctor who might be able to help you (from the film)!”. And on Christmas Day Edward would make a giant ice sculpture with his scissorhands, and the flakes would swirl around in the strong breeze and finally come to rest and disappear into Cruella’s black-and-white hair, melting her heart and sparking romance.

Front man and Catwoman

Yes, this seems like a mask-arriage made in heaven! The Front Man (from the show Squid Game) and Catwoman (from the film Catwoman) can throw a Masquerade Ball on the D-Day and then get into the mood after having a few mask-atinis! But things might take a wrong turn if Front Man’s mask goes missing the next morning! True to character, the Front Man suspects something is amiss, and tells Catwoman (using words from the show): “This is over now, come with me, do as I say!” Catwoman coolly replies, quoting her lines from the film: “Cats come when they feel like it, not when they are told!” Immediately she draws the blinds, plunging the room into darkness and says: “Who can see in the dark? I can.” She swiftly handcuffs him, puts a blindfold on his eyes (no, we are not going the 50 Shades way) and takes him to the field outside and orders him to play Red Light, Green Light!

Ron Swanson and Catherine Tramell

It would be great to see Ron Swanson (from Parks and Recreation) hitting it off with Catherine Tramell (from the film Basic Instinct). While Ron is the no-nonsense government guy who enjoys his whisky and breakfast food, Catherine is the intelligent novelist who uses her appeal to manipulate people. Now Ron — who has his way around women — also likes to hunt and is an ace with the axe. But he likes to keep his hobbies a secret. Unaware of Ron’s prowess, if Catherine tries to attack Ron with her infamous ice pick in an intimate moment, Ron would surely have a surprise up his sleeve. In the end though, part of Ron’s moustache would fall off, like it does on the show from a ‘rendezvous’, and he would famously say that it happened because of “friction”!

Daniel Plainview and Joy

It is time for the industrious people to pair up. Daniel Plainview (from the film There Will be Blood) is the strong masculine character who strikes gold in the desert by discovering oil. Meanwhile, the intuitive and sharp-minded Joy (from the film Joy) has invented the self-wringing mop and has become the head of a powerful family business. So can the oil and mop meet eye to eye? Or will a casual mop-up of an oil spill on the kitchen floor make Daniel hit the roof? If things reach a boiling point, she could blow off steam by firing a shotgun in the air, while Daniel can seek solace in memories of a house and his desire of wanting to live in it, eat in it and clean it (like he says in the film)! The mop would come in handy then!

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