Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood,” wrote Oscar Wilde in his short story, The Sphinx Without a Secret. The women on the Shepreneur panel on March 7 at ICCR, an event hosted by the Lions Club of Calcutta Elite, would have had stern words for the writer. They demanded to be heard and then understood. Excerpts. 

• We encourage women to be bold, to challenge. We can give free legal aid if the need arises. Patriarchy has the power, even in the judiciary, and women have to overcome a lot of hurdles to get justice. We are opposing all the claims that Section 498A is being misused by women. The awareness we have created about the importance of education is making its mark and young girls in villages have resisted marriage in favour of education. —  Sunanda Mukherjee, chairperson, West Bengal Commission for Women

• I got my job after I got married. So, marriage need not be the end of your career. If children see their mothers working towards a career, they will learn to respect women more. I have brought up my son to not differentiate between the sexes, we are all just humans. Sometimes I take him with me on night duty so that he realises that other people need me, perhaps more than he does. I want him to grow up and respect his wife. It is important to love yourself, live for yourself and have a career, so I can have my own life and not be depressed when my son grows up, and then cause problems between him and his wife. 

One thing I noticed when we rescued girls who had been trafficked was that they had grown up to believe they were undeserving of love and if a man came along and promised to treat them well, they were happy to go along with him. —  Papiya Sultana, IPS officer. 

• When I saw male prisoners, I felt sorry for their mothers, because no child is born a criminal. I asked if I could teach them dance along with the girls. I complete 10 years of this journey and I am always asked whether I feel scared. But they are like my sons. Dance was my medium and it brought back the rhythm in their lives. They started feeling good and happy and that’s what helped. And perhaps a mother’s touch. —  Alokananda Roy, dancer and founder of the NGO Touch World that works with inmates and their families. 

• I left my country (South Korea) for further studies when I was 26. I came from a very conservative family, where women were seen but not heard. Even in school we were not encouraged to ask questions to the teacher. And a woman’s education only qualified her for a good marriage, not a good career. In America I was shocked. Women were debating and questioning... and I felt I was dull and couldn’t put my opinion into words. — Meeryung Hall, wife of US consul-general Craig L. Hall.

• I’m very lucky to have the support of my in-laws. I started learning how to shoot at the age of 33. I wanted to wear the Indian sports jersey. My options narrowed down to chess or shooting. Chess, I wasn’t cut out for. When I started training I was told I had no endurance, no strength and it was evident they thought I couldn’t do it. That’s what made me want to prove myself, so I went on to represent Bengal. — Koyeli Dalmia, shooter

• Your achievements are not just yours alone. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the support of my mother, and my sister, who looked after my parents so I could go out and do what I wanted to do. 

The social stigma attached to rape needs to be erased. We have to stop shaming rape victims so rape offenders stop trying to break us by physically hurting us when they can’t break us mentally and emotionally.  — Ushoshi Sengupta, model and actress.

Text: Ramona Sen
Pictures: Pabitra Das