We are two brothers of 34 and 39, both happily married with a child each. Everything was fine till my mom got greedy about money. She has a controlling nature. She thinks that her brothers and their sons are good and successful. Me and my brother earn sound money. When we want to help her solve her problems, she says she can handle them herself and doesn't need our support, but tells everyone that she is living a miserable life as her children do not help. She insults us in front of everyone. Please suggest what should we do.

Name and address withheld

Listen you dolt. You are either 34 or 39. It is too late to now recognise that your mother is a Gorgon. She is what she is. And you know that. It is not a revelation for God's sake. Just let her be and you imagine she doesn't exist. Why do you want to wake up a sleeping dog? It will be impossible for her to change and my worry is she might make demons of you two innocent blokes. And the next time when you write to me avoid mentioning your age. This is a column of national repute and not the goddamn passport office. Clear son?

I'm a 17-year-old boy and I love a girl, but she doesn't know it. I haven't proposed to her as I am not of the age to do it. Now she is in relationship with a guy. She was innocent and good but now she smokes and drinks. I cannot see her like this. Please help me get her out of this.

Name and address withheld

So who are you expecting will break the news to her of your undying love? Baba Rampal? Listen son, this woman is not for you. Not because she smokes or drinks but just because you are too young. This is your age to visit museums or support Arvind Kejriwal. Not to involve yourself in unimaginable romance so I suggest you get back to your miserable student life and let this girl do whatever the hell she wants to. Everyone will breathe easier and be happier. u

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: [email protected]
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Email: [email protected]
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: [email protected]
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counsell
Wing on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)