Saif Ali Khan and Preity Zinta in moments from Salaam Namaste

Why is Anupam Kher claiming to have not killed Mahatma Gandhi 57 years after his death? Well, you don?t get much time to ponder over that as the Melbourne skyline sucks you in, moments after the disturbing Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara teaser. For the next three hours, sit back, relax and gorge on Nick?s nargisi kofta and Amby?s radio ramblings. It?s time to tune in to Salaam Namaste, which has generous helpings of all the magic masalas and tight bytes to be the biggest blockbuster of 2005.

THE RECIPE

Why do you have to move in under the same roof with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Well, chances are you love him or her but are not ready to trudge through the saat phere saga. Or perhaps you two have eloped when the meet-the-parents do didn?t go according to plan. Or maybe the new flat rent is coming cheaper than the daily hotel tariff toll.

Not so with Nikhil Arora (Saif Ali Khan) and Ambar Malhotra (Preity Zinta). The architecture graduate and medical student can?t take out time from their cooking and radio jockeying stints to get to know each other. So the savings come as the saving grace as they move in to a plush seaside apartment.

They may be ready to share the pizzas and the potty, but not the bed. Come on, Amby may be parading on the sands in next to nothing but she can?t get rid of the adarsh Bharatiya naari tag in five days. And Nick? Well, Mr Chef lets the passion marinate overnight as he gets ready to stir-fry the fancy fare the morning after. And before you can say salaam or namaste, the pecks on the cheek have dissolved into full-blown liplocks and there are no popping sunflowers covering them up.

Thanks to Sid?s (director Siddharth Raj Anand) refreshing treatment, there will be no coronary complications in the purana public whose dils don?t exactly go hmmm to touch-me-not topics like living in. The chuckles and chortles of the kids alongside the animated adults in the packed multiplex bore testimony to the fact that Yash Raj Films has again been able to drive home a point without hurting sensibilities.

THE INGREDIENTS

If they have to keep the Khan clan a triumvirate, they might consider replacing one of the three existing members as Saif?s butted in with his Superman boxers and Woman Power T-shirt. His comic timing?s got better than Aamir, his quirkiness is cooler than Shah Rukh?s and he looks better shirtless than Salman. Merging Hum Tum?s Karan and Parineeta?s Shekhar in his Nikhil Arora, sorry Nick, Saif is a study in contrasts, who drives a car numbered 007 but cries at the movies, is ready to take charge of a restaurant but not a wedded wife.

Aur Preity ka kya kehna! Whether she?s making love in a netted tent in the bushes or slurping Belgian dark chocolate ice-cream, she?s an absolute treat to watch. And the bikini tops and mini skirts don?t jar even if she wears them after cavorting in chiffons as Yash Chopra?s leading lady.

Not just the awesome twosome, Salaam Namaste?s ensemble cast complements the lead pair, step for step. You have the otherwise loud Arshad Warsi underplaying his innocently inane Ron to perfection. Javed Jaffery is set to bring every house down as the weird Crocodile Dundee landlord who hams away like Feroze Khan. And perhaps you can forgive Abhishek Bachchan for not being a patch on Robin Williams (in Nine Months) from behind thick glasses.

Don?t miss: Arshad?s wife Maria Goretti and their son Zeke make a special appearance in the bookstore.

First weekend watch: 100% at INOX (Forum), 100% at INOX (City Centre), 100% at 89 Cinemas (Swabhumi)

Last word: Sorry? Exactly... Go and catch the movie of the year.