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Interactive session equips parents to tackle new age parenting issues

If you lose temper with your kids for any reason, remember that whatever you say at that heat of the moment will not have any impact on your child: Experts

Bharati Kanjilal | Published 05.05.23, 05:17 AM

Illustrations by Pratik Chakrabarti

What should be the role of parents in a child's development?

The role of parents should be just like a gardener. Bring them up like saplings, provide them with good environment, proper nutrition, watch them grow like a healthy plant. Guide them when they are in trouble. Be friendly but don't try to be a friend. Parents can never be friends.

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What does a child demand the most from parents?

They need love, attention, care but mostly what they need is time. You have to have time for your child. It's not just having time but making time for them, both quality time and enough time.

What to do when your children make you angry?

If you lose temper with your kids for any reason, remember that whatever you say at that heat of the moment will not have any impact on your child. You will not be able to communicate properly when you are not in control of your emotions. So just sip some water, move away elsewhere instantly, calm yourself down. Choose a time when you have settled down and the child has also calmed down. Then talk to them and tell them that you are hurt by what he or she has done. Children don't want to hurt their parents. Then try to find out the reason behind their actions. Then explain why he or she shouldn't have done it. Target the specific problem and try to resolve it, otherwise the child will do it repeatedly. Never beat your child for that will make them more stubborn.

Should love towards your child be unconditional or conditional?

Love towards your child should be more conditional than unconditional. Actually there should be a balance between conditional and unconditional love. Let your child understand that he should follow certain discipline, being a member of the family, and he cannot break the discipline of the house just as they can't break discipline when they go to school.

How to deal with an angry child?

When your child is angry you should keep calm and keep conversation to a minimum. Keep your child in a safe place so that he or she can't cause any damage or get hurt. Let him shout in a safe place and release his anger.

What to do when a child suffers from anxiety, phobia or panic disorder?

There may be issues like separation anxiety which makes children anxious. If children find themselves in the midst of a family or parental dispute where one parent is accusing the other, children get very scared and suffer from anxiety. Be careful about it. They may develop social anxiety, they may not want to go to school or to public places. This is not an abnormality in their character but this arises out of the stressful situation at home.Sometimes children suffer from general anxiety. In that case, one needs to see a psychologist. Try to find out what the exact cause of anxiety is and consult a doctor.

What is to be done for exam phobia?

If children have exam phobia, the responsibility partly falls on the parents.

Children know that if they don't get good grades, they will be punished and there are examples of severe punishments in some homes like depriving them of food, which is his basic right. They then develop mental trauma. So when they have exam phobia, first tell them that you are not worried about his results. Even if he does not do well, it will not matter. What you want is to see him making an honest effort.

When child can't concentrate, what is to be done?

Don't tell them to study at that time. Tell them to do something else and later try to find out if he understands the subject or there are other problems. Children cannot concentrate when they feel low, helpless and depressed. It is very important to identify these issues. Sometimes they don't want to be with friends, don't want to eat and are unable to sleep. Then it's a serious issue and you must consult a doctor.

Causes of suicide among students

There are mainly three factors:-

A) Academic pressure

B) Hopelessness

C) Severe depression.

Academic pressure means not only pressure from school, but also pressure from parents.

Hopelessness arises if children think they are bad at everything. Parents should explore what they are good at and let them pursue that. They should also tell the children that they should study so that they can at least earn something while pursuing their passion.

What are the major warning signs

1. Writing sorrowful poems or stories,

2. Giving away his belongings

3. Feeling hopeless

4. Unable to concentrate

5. Losing interest in friends

Why a child misbehaves at school

1. Attention-seeking behaviour (because they seek same attention from their teacher as they get from parents at home being the only child)

2.They replicate what they see at home or elsewhere

3. Classroom environment

4. Lack of interest in the subject.

5. Home environment, comparison with peer group

6. The child is involved in too much activities without having any interest towards them

Role of parents in a student’s life

Communicate openly and honestly.

Try to inculcate values

Supervise your child to facilitate healthy decision-making; don't impose your decision.

Enjoy shared activities like playing indoor or outdoor games

Avoid giving multiple tuition

Keep track of what they are doing but don't do it for them.

Stop worrying too much before the child's exam

Stop handholding; otherwise later in life, they won't be able to cope up with the environment

Have control over usage of smartphone by your child

You have to make them responsible for using gadget for a limited time.

How can you limit your child's screentime

Be a good role model. Don't do what you are telling them not to do

Encourage physical activity; let them feel tired

Schedule family activities

Don't watch TV or phone while eating.

Have screen-free days

Educate your teens and discuss their pros and cons, taking their opinion as well

Discuss what else they can do, something interesting; take them to a friend's place or engage them in any family chores

Give them enough rest. Nowadays, children are not getting sufficient rest which is causing damage.

Make the children consider mobile phone as an asset in times of need rather than as a right, which is detrimental for them.

Last updated on 05.05.23, 04:44 PM
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