There is a song by Amitabh Bachchan where he sings: “Mere paas aao mere doston ek kissa sunaoon”. And then goes on to narrate the tale of the tiger that killed him. When questioned by the kids on how he could be alive when he has been killed, he said, “Do you even call this living a living?” — scarring those poor children with the wounds of nihilism for life. Today we call them Gen Z.
On Instagram, many of them like to act as ‘finfluencers’ and talk about cryptocurrency and the stock market. And how they are doing financial planning as a dharma and all that. But they also have pronouns in their bio. I have a feeling they are going to lose all their vowels in the market crash that is about to come.
Crash landing on you
Some of them like to compare the crash of 2023 with the dotcom meltdown of 2002. Most of them were too young to even string the words dotcom together. In fact, the only reason they know about Wednesday is because of Instagram Reels. That they’re reduced to Googling “mask wali ladki” on Telegram tells you this generation is ridiculously unprepared for both inflation and recession. It’s like Yoon-Seri of South Korea landing in Captain Ri’s North Korea in the Korean TV series Crash Landing on You.
But then they are equally unprepared for both their regression into childhood with old age and the loss of their youth filter on Instagram.
The only thing they will organically glide into is the future of dating. Meeting at expensive pubs and clubs will no longer be the norm. Why take all that trouble when you can disappoint each other from home? A single video call helps to take care of both illusions and delusions. Especially on Microsoft Teams.
Meeting at expensive pubs and clubs will no longer be the norm, predicts Vikram Poddar. Why take all that trouble when you can disappoint each other from home? A single video call helps to take care of both illusions and delusionsTT archives
Recall value is as low as as the low interest regime
Naatu Naatu has gone viral, which translated into Hindi means “Naacho Naacho” — which is what life has felt like since 2020. I’m just afraid of what will happen when the music finally stops. And Gen Z has to make Instagram reels without lip-syncing. No one is asking “Where is Messi?” since the World Cup has ended. Was that real or just a figment of our imaginations? Like the low interest regime of the last two decades.
Riding the Metro, er, crypto wave
India’s first underwater Metro service, the East-West Metro Corridor project is expected to be completed by December 2023. They say you will blink and miss it because the ride will be over in 45 seconds. It’s like riding a cryptocurrency to work and then returning back on the same route. Sam Bankman-Fried is the new Nirav Modi. And ESG funds are the new Sam Bankman-Fried. Companies are investing in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion to ensure everybody is the same and no one dares to be different. To such companies, I am happy to offer my workshops that use comedy to teach innovative and critical thinking. I am being innovative, so I would request you not to be critical.
They say you will blink and miss India’s first underwater Metro service, because the ride will be over in 45 seconds. It’s like riding a cryptocurrency to work and then returning back on the same routeTT archives
Miserable friends are like capital losses
The war in Ukraine continues to rage… on social media that is. Everyone is now an expert on Russian ballistics and Zelenskyy’s verbal callisthenics. But I hope the missiles will be diverse and inclusive. As Jerome Powell continues to nuke the global economy with his interest rate hikes, I look forward to more companies needing my services because misery loves comedy. So, I request that you discuss this article with all your miserable friends. Because miserable friends are like capital losses.
The author, Vikram Poddar, is a Marwari investment banker turned corporate comedian. The views expressed in this article are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.