Been swiping left and right on those dating apps? Or getting regular updates on your younger sibling’s social media stalking? Then it’s time to familiarise yourself with the Gen Z dictionary of dating terms. While the quirky terminology might tickle your funny bone, some of these are rather tricky — did you know you could be zombied or pocketed? — and they are all on-trend!
The month when Cupid is on an emotional override is as good a time as any to keep yourself updated. We recommend you begin with the My Kolkata dating terms handbook, part one, here, and scroll down for what’s new in the dating scene…
Orbiting
Stalking your blast from the past on social media? Do you know you are doing what the moon does to the Earth, and the Earth does to the Sun, aka orbiting? If you know what they wore, where they were, what they ate, who they were with, if you have every update about their social life — without stepping into Baby Reindeer territory, of course — then you have orbited. If you, like Ahana aka Ananya Panday in Kho Gaye Hum Kahan, have a second profile to check those IG stories, you are in pro-max orbit mode.
Zombieing
So, what happens if your ex has been orbiting too and decides to show up? Well, then the Gen Z manual says you have been subjected to zombieing. While the term might remind you of Train to Busan, the new-age lingo actually refers to a situation where someone who ghosted you resurfaces without any explanation. While some might think they are picking up from where they left and there is no crease on the cloth, it translates into taking a relationship for granted, TBH.
Pocketing
Been dating for a while, but you still haven’t been introduced to the squad and the family? Then it is time to worry, because you have been pocketed. Pocketing is the relationship translation of the popular Bengali phrase — daan haater khobor baan haat pabe na (the right hand won’t know what the left hand is up to). So if you are thinking long term, beware, and get ready to jump out!
Eclipsing
Another celestial-inspired term, this one gives a name to a phenomenon that has actually been around for years — a case of losing one’s individuality. When one of the partners in a relationship starts mirroring the other half’s every like and dislike to the extent of losing sense of their own preferences, they have been eclipsed.
Cookie-jarring
Did you imagine a gooey chocolate chip cookie that can be dunked in milk and savoured? Well, unfortunately, adult life cookies are a bit different and nothing close to that adorable. If you have been cookie-jarred, it translates to you being emotionally scammed. Cookie-jarring is when your partner keeps a back-up — a brewing relationship in the shadows, so if things don’t work out with you, there’s potential elsewhere.
This delightful sounding morbid term has two relatives. Cushioning, where the bae has way too many other baes and has built themselves a cosy emotional cushion, and roaching, where the sneaky significant other has many secret lovers.
Caspering
This isn’t the cute friendly ghost paying you a visit but an upgrade on the gold ‘ol ‘zoning’. It means you have been friendzoned, brozoned, seenzoned or some other zoned, but in a friendly manner. Caspering translates into denying romantic advancement, but politely without burning bridges.
Fizzling
A kinder version of ghosting, fizzling refers to gradually disconnecting with someone you were interested earlier. It is not an overnight process, but takes time, as the person who has been feeling the lack of connection contemplates and assesses the relationship’s evolution, and becomes unresponsive after a point.