Stressed out: Hormonal changes during adolescence can make teenagers extremely aggressive and emotional

Suicide after salwar denial”; “Refused Re 1, girl commits suicide”; “Denied cricket, boy kills himself.” Headlines such as these have become quite common in recent months. The stories they tell are of teens and pre-teens killing themselves over trivial issues and paltry grievances. One takes her life because she has been denied a new dress while another hangs himself from the ceiling fan because he has not been allowed to go for a school picnic. These are children who think nothing of doing away with themselves ? all because they feel they have been deeply wronged by their families.

Teenage suicides have indeed been on the rise in the past 10 years, says psychiatrist Dr Ram Dasgupta. According to Calcutta Police records, the number of suicides by victims below the age of 16 years was 29 (14 boys, 15 girls) in 2004 and 22 (12 boys, 10 girls) in 2005 till the end of November. This shows that in Calcutta alone, the reported rate of suicides by children below the age of 16 has been more than two a month in the past two years. But the more alarming trend here is that the reasons for many of these teenage suicides seem to be ridiculously trivial.

In September 2005, Sania Khatun, a Class V student of Baharampur in West Bengal, hanged herself when her mother did not give her Re 1 for her tiffin. In the same town, the very next month, Chandana Ghosh, 17, committed suicide when she was denied a new salwar kameez for Durga Puja by her parents. In October, a 13-year-old boy in Krishnagar killed himself by drinking pesticide when his grandmother refused to give him Rs 5. A month later, 12-year-old Bishnu Sarkar, also of Krishnagar, hanged himself because he was denied permission to watch an India-South Africa cricket match.

So why has there been this spurt in teenage suicides over such apparently insignificant issues? Says Dr Dasgupta, “The main intention behind such suicides is not necessarily to kill oneself, but often to seek attention. These suicides occur because of a sudden impulse. The victim is not even aware of the consequences. These teenagers tend to be aggressive and very emotional.”

Psychologist Barnali Ghosh too feels that teenagers, because of their often heightened emotional state, could commit extreme acts at times. “During adolescence, hormonal changes make some teenagers have ‘low-frustration-tolerance’, where even the slightest denial seems to be unbearable. So even committing suicide over a so-called ‘trivial’ issue is not unthinkable for them.”

However, Professor Bula Bhadra, head of the department of sociology, Calcutta University, is not convinced that the reasons for these suicides are always trivial. “There must have been some underlying tension between the victim and his or her surroundings.” Commenting on the case of Sania Khatun, for instance, she says, “Re 1 is not the issue here. The underlying psyche is: ‘To you Re 1 is more important than my happiness.’ It is important that adults show that they care.”

But must parents have to give in to all the demands of their children for fear that they will commit suicide otherwise? Says Saswati Mukherjee, who has a 12-year-old daughter, “Although I give my daughter more or less everything she asks for, I also make sure that her expectations never go sky-high.”

Of course, effective parent-child communication could go a long way in preventing many such tragic and unnecessary suicides. But in our country, teenagers are rarely able to discuss their problems openly with their parents. They are often ridiculed or their problems are considered ‘childish’. Says Chumki Mukherjee, the mother of a 15-year-old boy, “I make sure that my son feels comfortable about talking to me about anything and everything.” At the same time, experts point out, giving too much attention to children could cause problems too. As Prof Bhadra puts it, “It is of utmost importance to give adequate attention to children, neither more, nor less.”

But parents apart, don’t schools too have a responsibility to see to it that their pupils grow up to be balanced human beings who won’t magnify the slightest problem or setback to alarming proportions? Mitali Choudhuri (name changed), a senior teacher in a reputed girls’ school in Calcutta, feels that schools should have more student counselling. But the problem, she says, is that the student-teacher ratio in most schools is as high as 40:1. “Giving individual attention to each student is virtually impossible.” Recently, her school brought in a psychiatrist who advised the teachers on how to deal with students’ problems.

It is also true that most of these cases reveal an underlying element of economic frustration. Says psychologist Ghosh, “Sometimes teenagers try to compensate their emotional needs with materialistic pleasures. The dominant feeling is, ‘If my friend has something, why can’t I have it as well?’ Reasoning that he or she cannot have it is of no help at times.”

About a century ago, Tagore wrote in his short story Chhuti ? “In this world there is no space for a 13-year-old boy, he fits neither into the world of adults nor into the world of children.” Years have passed, but that space has still not been created by our society. Unless families and society at large become more sensitive to children and their emotional needs, the Sania Khatuns and Bishnu Sarkars of our world will always feel compelled to tread a tragic path.